第43部分(第5/7 頁)

　I　was　cupped　in

Azrael’s　hand。　My　soul；　the　size　of　a　bee；　was　bathed　in　light；　and　it　shuddered

as　it　left　my　body　and　continued　to　tremble　like　mercury　in　Azrael’s　palm。　My

thoughts　were　not　of　this；　however；　but　of　the　unfamiliar　new　world　I’d　just

been　born　into。

193

After　so　much　suffering；　a　calm　overcame　me。　Death　did　not　cause　me　the

pain I’d feared； on the contrary； I relaxed； quickly realizing that my present

situation was a permanent one； whereas the constraints I’d felt in life were

only temporary。 This was how it would be from now on； for century upon

century；　until　the　end　of　the　universe。　This　neither　upset　nor　gladdened　me。

Events　I’d　once　endured　briskly　and　sequentially　were　now　spread　over　infinite

space and existed simultaneously。 As in one of those large double…leaf

paintings wherein a witty miniaturist has painted a number of unrelated

things　in　each　corner—many　things　were　happening　all　at　once。

194

I；　SHEKURE

It　was　snowing　so　hard　that　snowflakes　occasionally　passed　right　through　my

veil　into　my　eyes。　I　picked　my　way　through　the　garden　covered　in　rotting　grass；

mud　and　broken　branches；　then　quickened　my　pace　once　I’d　exited　onto　the

street。　I　know　you’re　all　wondering　what　I’m　thinking。　How　much　do　I　trust

Black？　Let　me　be　frank　with　you；　then。　I　myself　don’t　know　what　to　think。　You

do　understand；　don’t　you？　I’m　confused。　This　much；　however；　I　do　know：　As

always；　I’ll　fall　into　the　routine　of　meals；　children；　my　father　and　errands；　and

before　long　my　heart；　without　even　having　to　be　asked；　will　whisper　the　truth

to