第35部分(第4/7 頁)

　fear　and

agony。

Yet　she　was　pushing　him　off　from　her；　pushing　him　away；

breaking　his　fingers　from　their　hold　on　her；　persistently；

ruthlessly。　He　wanted　her　to　have　pity。　And　sometimes　for　a

moment　she　had　pity。　But　she　always　began　again；　thrusting　him

off；　into　the　deep　water；　into　the　frenzy　and　agony　of

uncertainty。

She　became　like　a　fury　to　him；　without　any　sense　of　him。　Her

eyes　were　bright　with　a　cold；　unmoving　hatred。　Then　his　heart

seemed　to　die　in　its　last　fear。　She　might　push　him　off　into　the

deeps。

She　would　not　sleep　with　him　any　more。　She　said　he　destroyed

her　sleep。　Up　started　all　his　frenzy　and　madness　of　fear　and

suffering。　She　drove　him　away。　Like　a　cowed；　lurking　devil　he

was　driven　off；　his　mind　working　cunningly　against　her；　devising

evil　for　her。　But　she　drove　him　off。　In　his　moments　of　intense

suffering；　she　seemed　to　him　inconceivable；　a　monster；　the

principle　of　cruelty。

However　her　pity　might　give　way　for　moments；　she　was　hard　and

cold　as　a　jewel。　He　must　be　put　off　from　her；　she　must　sleep

alone。　She　made　him　a　bed　in　the　small　room。

And　he　lay　there　whipped；　his　soul　whipped　almost　to　death；

yet　unchanged。　He　lay　in　agony　of　suffering；　thrown　back　into

unreality；　like　a　man　thrown　overboard　into　a　sea；　to　swim　till

he　sinks；　because　there　is　no　hold；　only　a　wide；　weltering

sea。

He　did　not　sleep；　save　for　the　white　sleep　when　a　thin　veil

is　drawn　over　the　mind。　It　was　not　sleep。　He　was　awake；　and　he

was　not　awake。　He　could　not　be　alone。　He　needed　to　be　able　to

put　his　arms　round　her。　He　could　not　bear　the　empty　space

against　his