第49部分(第3/7 頁)

cannot　even　provide　for　my　wife　and　child！'

〃But　you　see；　it　was　not　for　him　to　provide　for　us。　My　life

went　on；　though　his　stopped；　and　I　married　your　grandfather。

〃I　ought　to　have　known；　I　ought　to　have　been　able　to　say　to

him：　'Don't　be　so　bitter；　don't　die　because　this　has　failed。　You

are　not　the　beginning　and　the　end。'　But　I　was　too　young；　he　had

never　let　me　bee　myself；　I　thought　he　was　truly　the　beginning

and　the　end。　So　I　let　him　take　all　upon　himself。　Yet　all　did　not

depend　on　him。　Life　must　go　on；　and　I　must　marry　your

grandfather；　and　have　your　Uncle　Tom；　and　your　Uncle　Fred。　We

cannot　take　so　much　upon　ourselves。〃

The　child's　heart　beat　fast　as　she　listened　to　these　things。

She　could　not　understand；　but　she　seemed　to　feel　far…off　things。

It　gave　her　a　deep；　joyous　thrill；　to　know　she　hailed　from　far

off；　from　Poland；　and　that　dark…bearded　impressive　man。　Strange；

her　antecedents　were；　and　she　felt　fate　on　either　side　of　her

terrible。

Almost　every　day；　Ursula　saw　her　grandmother；　and　every　time；

they　talked　together。　Till　the　grandmother's　sayings　and

stories；　told　in　the　plete　hush　of　the　Marsh　bedroom；

accumulated　with　mystic　significance；　and　became　a　sort　of　Bible

to　the　child。

And　Ursula　asked　her　deepest　childish　questions　of　her

grandmother。

〃Will　somebody　love　me；　grandmother？〃

〃Many　people　love　you；　child。　We　all　love　you。〃

〃But　when　I　am　grown　up；　will　somebody　love　me？〃

〃Yes；　some　man　will　love　you；　child；　because　it's　your

nature。　And　I　hope　it　will　be　somebody　who　will　love　you　for

what　you　are；　and　not　for　what　he　wants　of　you。　But　we　have　a