第12部分(第3/5 頁)

　rang。　A　friend　walked　in；　pale　and　shattered。　Dark　rings　under　red…rimmed　eyes；　lips　quivering　from　restrained　emotion。　“She’s

left　me；”　he　whispered；　as　if　expecting　the　words　to　hurt。　“After　fourteen　years　of　an　ideal　marriage；　she’s　upped　and　left　me。”

I　couldn’t　help　thinking　of　his　wife　telling　me　in　confidence　that　the　marriage；　to　her；　was　a　prison：　a　locked　cell；　stifling　and　restrictive；　no　access　to　daylight　or　fresh　air。　“I　shall　have　to　break　out；”　she　had　stated　calmly；　“or　else　go　under。”

“I　love　her；”　he　said　brokenly。　“Since　the　day　we　met；　I’ve　only　lived　for　her。　My　life　was　dedicated　to　her　welfare。　Without　her；　I　have　nothing。”

It　crossed　my　mind　that　this　degree　of　spousal　devotion　seems　to　e　more　naturally　to　men。　I　wonder　if　it　stems　from　an　unconscious　hankering　back　to　the　blessed　state　of　infancy；　when　all　their　require…ments　were　filled　by　a　bountiful　madonna；　who　asked　for　nothing　but　submission　in　return。

“Could　it　be；”　I　ventured　carefully；　in　an　attempt　to　help；　if　not　fort；　“that　your　relationship　has　been　based　on　your　needs　more　than　hers？”

“Not　at　all；”　he　snapped；　offended。　“I　never　had　a　thought　for　myself。　I　gave　her　everything；　each　living　moment。　Body　and　soul；　I　was　all　hers。”　Bewilderment　took　over；　as　he　pondered：　“How　can　any woman　walk　away　from　such　devotion？”

I　didn’t　have　the　heart　to　tell　him。　Perhaps　one　day　I　will。

Of　all　emotions；　the　most　dangerous　are　those　we　don’t　know　we　have。　They　are　the　cause　of　rash；　impulsive　acts；　they　drive　us　to　be　erratic；　distort　our　sense　of　judgement。

It’s　natural　enough　to　want　to　close　the　door　on　feelings　that　are　painful　or　unworthy。　But　suppression　has　an　awful　lot　to　answer　for　in　terms　of　devastation。

Does　t