第12部分(第5/6 頁)

shadow　with　achievements　of　my　own。　As　a　result；　we　seldom　spoke。　I　sought　opportunities　to　criticize　her　and　relished　surpassing2　her　acevements。　Her　diary　lay　at　my　feet；　and　I　didn’t　think　of　the　result　of　opening　it。　I　considered　not　her　privacy；　the　morality　of　my　actions；　nor　her　consequential　pain。　I　merely　savored　the　possibility　of　digging　up　enough　dirt　to　soil　my　petitor’s　spotless　record。　I　reasoned　my　iniquity　as　sisterly　duty。　It　was　my　responsibility　to　keep　a　check　on　her　activities。　It　would　be　wrong　of　me　not　to。

愛要了解（2）

I　tentatively　plucked　the　book　from　the　floor　and　opened　it；　fanning　through　the　pages；　searching　for　my　name；　convinced　that　I　would　discover　scheming　and　slander。　As　I　read；　the　blood　ran　from　my　face。 It　was　worse　than　I　suspected。　I　felt　faint　and　slouched3　to　the　floor。　There　was　neither　conspiracy　nor　defamation。　There　was　a　succinct　description　of　herself；　her　goals　and　her　dreams　followed　by　a　short　portrayal　4　of　the　person　who　has　inspired　her　most。　I　started　to　cry。

I　was　her　hero。　She　admired　me　for　my　personality；　my　achievements　and；ironically；　my　integrity。　She　wanted　to　be　like　me。　She　had　been　watching　me　for　years；　quietly　marveling　over　my　choices　and　actions。　I　ceased　reading；　struck　with　the　crime　I　had　mitted。　I　had　expended　so　much　energy　into　pushing　her　away　that　I　had　missed　out　on　her。

I　had　wasted　years　resenting　someone　capable　of　magic—and　now　I　had　violated　her　trust。　It　was　I　who　had　lost　something　beautiful；　and　it　was　1　who　would　never　allow　myself　to　do　such　a　thing　again。

Reading　the　earnest　words　my　sister　had　written　seemed　to　melt　an　icy　barrier　around　my　heart；　and　I　longed　to　know　her　again。　I　was　finally　able　to　put　aside5　the　petty　insecurity　that　kept　me　fr