第34部分(第2/7 頁)

ust　more　than　I　could　handle—it　felt　as　if　all　of　my

sleepless　nights　were　crashing　down

on　me　en　masse。　I　was　so　brutally　tired　that　I　thought　I　might　collapse　right

there　on　the　floor。　I　swayed

unsteadily；　and　struggled　to　keep　my　eyes　open。

〃Bella？〃　Jacob　whispered　anxiously。　He　caught　my　elbow　as　I　swayed　again；　and

steered　me　back　to　the

bed。　My　legs　gave　out　when　I　reached　the　edge；　and　I　plopped　into　a　limp　heap

on　the　mattress。

〃Hey；　are　you　okay？〃　Jacob　asked；　worry　creasing　his　forehead。

I　looked　up　at　him；　the　tears　not　yet　dried　on　my　cheeks。　〃Why　in　the　world

would　I　be　okay；　Jacob？〃

Anguish　replaced　some　of　the　bitterness　in　his　face。　〃Right；〃　he　agreed；　and

took　a　deep　breath。　〃Crap。

Well　I—I'm　so　sorry；　Bella。〃　The　apology　was　sincere；　no　doubt　about　it；

though　there　was　still　an

angry　twist　to　his　features。

〃Why　did　you　e　here？　I　don't　want　apologies　from　you；　Jake。〃

〃I　know；〃　he　whispered。　〃But　I　couldn't　leave　things　the　way　I　did　this

afternoon。　Thar　was　horrible。　I'm

sorry。〃

I　shook　my　head　wearily。　〃I　don't　understand　anything。〃

〃I　know。　I　want　to　explain—〃　He　broke　off　suddenly；　his　mouth　open；　almost

like　something　had　cut　off

his　air。　Then　he　sucked　in　a　deep　breath。　〃But　I　can't　explain；〃　he　said；

still　angry。　〃I　wish　I　could。〃

I　let　my　head　fall　into　my　hands。　My　question　came　out　muffled　by　my　arm。

〃Why？〃

He　was　quiet　for　a　moment。　I　twisted　my　head　to　the　side—too　tired　to　hold　it

up—to　see　his　expression。

It　surprised　me。　His　eyes　were　squinted；　his　teeth　clenched；　his　forehead

wrinkled　in　effort。

〃What's　wrong？〃　I　asked