第33部分(第2/7 頁)

on　inside。　No　flutter　at　the

edge　of　the　curtain；　no

sound　of　voices　or　movement。　It　faced　me　vacantly。

The　rain　started　to　drizzle；　stinging　here　and　there　against　my　skin。　I

couldn't　take　my　eyes　off　the　house。

Jacob　would　e　back。　He　had　to。

The　rain　picked　up；　and　so　did　the　wind。　The　drops　were　no　longer　falling　from

above；　they　slanted　at　an

angle　from　the　west。　I　could　smell　the　brine　from　the　ocean。　My　hair　whipped

in　my　face；　sticking　to　the

wet　places　and　tangling　in　my　lashes。　I　waited。

Finally　the　door　opened；　and　I　took　a　step　forward　in　relief。

Billy　rolled　his　chair　into　the　door　frame。　I　could　see　no　one　behind　him。

〃Charlie　just　called；　Bella。　I　told　him　you　were　on　your　way　home。〃　His　eyes

were　full　of　pity。

The　pity　made　it　final　somehow。　I　didn't　ment。　I　just　turned　robotically

and　climbed　in　my　truck。　I'd

left　the　windows　open　and　the　seats　were　slick　and　wet。　It　didn't　matter。　I

was　already　soaked。

Not　as　bad！　Not　as　bad！　my　mind　tried　to　fort　me。　It　was　true。　This　wasn't

as　bad。　This　wasn't　the

end　of　the　world；　not　again。　This　was　just　the　end　of　what　little　peace　there

was　left　behind。　That　was　all。

Not　as　bad；　I　agreed；　then　added；　but　bad　enough。

I'd　thought　Jake　had　been　healing　the　hole　in　me—or　at　least　plugging　it　up；

keeping　it　from　hurting　me　so

much。　I'd　been　wrong。　He'd　just　been　carving　out　his　own　hole；　so　that　I　was

now　riddled　through　like

Swiss　cheese。　I　wondered　why　I　didn't　crumble　into　pieces。

Charlie　was　waiting　on　the　porch。　As　I　rolled　to　a　stop；　he　walked　out　to　meet

me。

〃Billy　called。　He　said　you　got　in　fight　w