第33部分(第1/7 頁)

But　I　heard　my　voice　escaping　in　a　whisper。

〃I'm　sorry　that　I　couldn't　before　I　wish　I　could　change　how　I　feel　about

you；　Jacob。〃　I　was

desperate；　reaching；　stretching　the　truth　so　far　that　it　curved　nearly　into

the　shape　of　a　lie。　〃Maybe

maybe　I　would　change；〃　I　whispered。　〃Maybe；　if　you　gave　me　some　time　just

don't　quit　on　me　now；

Jake。　I　can't　take　it。〃

His　face　went　from　anger　to　agony　in　a　second。　One　shaking　hand　reached　out

toward　me。

〃No。　Don't　think　like　that；　Bella；　please。　Don't　blame　yourself；　don't　think

this　is　your　fault。　This　one　is　all

me。　I　swear；　it's　not　about　you。〃

〃It's　not　you；　it's　me；〃　I　whispered。　〃There's　a　new　one。〃

〃I　mean　it；　Bella。　I'm　not〃　he　struggled；　his　voice　going　even　huskier　as　he

fought　to　control　his　emotion。

His　eyes　were　tortured。　〃I'm　not　good　enough　to　be　your　friend　anymore；　or

anything　else。　I'm　not　what　I

was　before。　I'm　not　good。〃

〃What？〃　I　stared　at　him；　confused　and　appalled。　〃What　are　you　saying？　You're

much　better　than　I　am；

Jake。　You　are　good！　Who　told　you　that　you　aren't？　Sam？　It's　a　vicious　lie；

Jacob！　Don't　let　him　tell　you

that！〃　I　was　suddenly　yelling　again。

Jacob's　face　went　hard　and　flat。　〃No　one　had　to　tell　me　anything。　I　know　what

I　am。〃

〃You're　my　friend；　that's　what　you　are！　Jake—don't！〃

He　was　backing　away　from　me。

〃I'm　sorry；　Bella；〃　he　said　again；　this　time　it　was　a　broken　mumble。　He　turned

and　almost　ran　into　the

house。

I　was　unable　to　move　from　where　I　stood。　I　stared　at　the　little　house；　it

looked　too　small　to　hold　four

large　boys　and　two　larger　men。　There　was　no　reacti