第32部分(第7/7 頁)

Wait！〃　I　called　as　he　turned　toward　the

house。

He　spun　around　to　face　me；　and　I　saw　that　his　hands　were　shaking　again。

〃Go　home；　Bella。　I　can't　hang　out　with　you　anymore。〃

The　silly；　inconsequential　hurt　was　incredibly　potent。　The　tears　welled　up

again。　〃Are　you　breaking　up

with　me？〃　The　words　were　all　wrong；　but　they　were　the　best　way　I　could　think

to　phrase　what　I　was

asking。　After　all；　what　Jake　and　I　had　was　more　than　any　schoolyard　romance。

Stronger。

He　barked　out　a　bitter　laugh。　〃Hardly。　If　that　were　the　case；　I'd　say　'Let's

stay　friends。'　I　can't　even　say

that。〃

〃Jacob　why？　Sam　won't　let　you　have　other　friends？　Please；　Jake。　You

promised。　I　need　you！〃　The

blank　emptiness　of　my　life　before—before　Jacob　brought　some　semblance　of

reason　back　into

it—reared　up　and　confronted　me。　Loneliness　choked　in　my　throat。

〃I'm　sorry；　Bella；〃　Jacob　said　each　word　distinctly　in　a　cold　voice　that

didn't　seem　to　belong　to　him。

I　didn't　believe　that　this　was　really　what　Jacob　wanted　to　say。　It　seemed　like

there　was　something　else

trying　to　be　said　through　his　angry　eyes；　but　I　couldn't　understand　the

message。

Maybe　this　wasn't　about　Sam　at　all。　Maybe　this　had　nothing　to　do　with　the

Cullens。　Maybe　he　was　just

trying　to　pull　himself　out　of　a　hopeless　situation。　Maybe　I　should　let　him　do

that；　if　that's　what　was　best　for

him。　I　should　do　that。　It　would　be　right。

But　I　heard　my　voice　escaping　in　a　whisper。

〃I'm　sorry　that　I　couldn't　before　I　wish　I　could　change　how