第11部分(第5/7 頁)

't　sure　what　he　meant。

〃I　am　home；〃　I　mumbled；　confused。

〃I'm　sending　you　to　Renee；　to　Jacksonville；〃　he　clarified。

Charlie　watched　with　exasperation　as　I　slowly　grasped　the　meaning　of　his

words。

〃What　did　I　do？〃　I　felt　my　face　crumple。　It　was　so　unfair。　My　behavior　had

been　above　reproach　for　the

past　four　months。　After　that　first　week；　which　neither　of　us　ever　mentioned；　I

hadn't　missed　a　day　of

school　or　work。　My　grades　were　perfect。　I　never　broke　curfew—I　never　went

anywhere　from　which　to

break　curfew　in　the　first　place。　I　only　very　rarely　served　leftovers。

Charlie　was　scowling。

〃You　didn't　do　anything。　That's　the　problem。　You　never　do　anything。〃

〃You　want　me　to　get　into　trouble？〃　I　wondered；　my　eyebrows　pulling　together　in

mystification。　I　made　an

effort　to　pay　attention。　It　wasn't　easy。　I　was　so　used　to　tuning　everything

out；　my　ears　felt　stopped　up。

〃Trouble　would　be　better　than　this　this　moping　around　all　the　time！〃

That　stung　a　bit。　I'd　been　careful　to　avoid　all　forms　of　moroseness；　moping

included。

〃I　am　not　moping　around。〃

〃Wrong　word；〃　he　grudgingly　conceded。　〃Moping　would　be　better—that　would　be

doing　something。

You're　just　lifeless；　Bella。　I　think　that's　the　word　I　want。〃

This　accusation　struck　home。　I　sighed　and　tried　to　put　some　animation　into　my

response。

〃I'm　sorry；　Dad。〃　My　apology　sounded　a　little　flat；　even　to　me。　I'd　thought

I'd　been　fooling　him。　Keeping

Charlie　from　suffering　was　the　whole　point　of　all　this　effort。　How　depressing

to　think　that　the　effort　had

been　wasted。

〃I　don't　want　you　to　apologize。〃

I　sighed。　〃Then　t