第6部分(第6/7 頁)

She　turned　away；　passing　one　damp　hand　across　her　forehead；　and　went　to　the　cupboard。

Her　back　was　to　him；　and　he　watched　her　while　she　took　down　a　bright；　figured　vase；　filled　withflowers　only　on　the　most　special　occasions；　and　emptied　the　contents　into　her　palm。　He　heard　thechink　of　money；　which　meant　that　she　was　going　to　send　him　to　the　store。　She　put　the　vase　backand　turned　to　face　him；　her　palm　loosely　folded　before　her。

‘I　didn’t　never　ask　you；’　she　said；　‘what　you　wanted　for　your　birthday。　But　you　take　this；son；　and　go　out　and　get　yourself　something　you　think　you　want。’

And　she　opened　his　palm　and　put　the　money　into　it；　warm　and　wet　from　her　hand。　In　themoment　that　he　felt　the　warm；　smooth　coins　and　her　hand　on　his；　John　stared　blindly　at　her　face；　sofar　above　him。　His　heart　broke　and　he　wanted　to　put　his　head　on　her　belly　where　the　wet　spot　was；and　cry。　But　he　dropped　his　eyes　and　looked　at　his　palm；　at　the　small　pile　of　coins。

‘It　ain’t　much　there；’　she　said。

‘That’s　all　right。’　Then　he　looked　up；　and　she　bent　down　and　kissed　him　on　the　forehead。

‘You　getting　to　be；’　she　said；　putting　her　hand　beneath　his　chin　and　holding　his　face　awayfrom　her；　‘a　right　big　boy。　You　going　to　be　a　mighty　fine　man；　you　know　what？　Your　mama’scounting　on　you。’

And　he　knew　again　that　she　was　not　saying　everything　she　meant；　in　a　kind　of　secretlanguage　she　was　telling　him　to…day　something　that　he　must　remember　and　understand　to…morrow。

He　watched　her　face；　his　heart　swollen　with　love　for　her　and　with　an　anguish；　not　yet　his　own；　buthe　did　not　understand　and　that　frightened　him。

‘Yes；　Ma；’　he　said；　hoping　that　she　would　realize；　despite　his　stammering　tongue；　the　depthof　his　passion　to　please　her。

‘I　know；’　she　sa