第6部分(第5/7 頁)

　moving　with　such　grace　and　power；　but　heknew　this　could　not　be。　Yet；　if　he　could　not　play　their　games；　he　could　do　something　they　could　notdo；　he　was　able；　as　one　of　his　teachers　said；　to　think。　But　this　brought　him　little　in　the　way　ofconsolation；　for　to…day　he　was　terrified　of　his　thoughts。　He　wanted　to　be　with　these　boys　in　thestreet；　headless　and　thoughtless；　wearing　out　his　treacherous　and　bewildering　body。

But　now　it　was　eleven　o’clock；　and　in　two　hours　his　father　would　be　home。　And　then　theymight　eat；　and　then　his　father　would　lead　them　in　prayer；　and　then　he　would　give　them　a　Biblelesson。　By　and　by　it　would　be　evening　and　he　would　go　to　clean　the　church；　and　remained　for　tarryservice。　Suddenly；　sitting　at　the　window；　and　with　a　violence　unprecedented；　there　arose　in　John　aflood　of　fury　and　tears；　and　he　bowed　his　head；　fists　clenched　against　the　window…pane；　crying；with　teeth　on　edge：　‘What　shall　I　do？　What　shall　I　do？’

Then　his　mother　called　him；　and　he　remembered　that　she　was　in　the　kitchen　washingclothes　and　probably　had　something　for　him　to　do。　He　rose　sullenly　and　walked　into　the　kitchen。

She　stood　over　the　wash…tub；　her　arms　wet　and　soapy　to　the　elbows　and　sweat　standing　on　herbrow。　Her　apron；　improvised　from　an　old　sheet；　was　wet　where　she　had　been　leaning　over　thescrubbing…board。　As　he　came　in；　she　straightened；　drying　her　hands　on　the　edge　of　the　apron。

‘You　finish　your　work；　John？’　she　askedHe　said：　‘Yes’m；’　and　thought　how　oddly　she　looked　at　him；　as　though　she　were　looking　atsomeone　else’s　child。

‘That’s　a　good　boy；’　she　said。　She　smiled　a　shy；　strained　smile。　‘You　know　you’re　yourmother’s　right…hand　man？’

He　said　nothing；　and　he　did　not　smile；　but　watched　her；　wandering　to　what　task　thispreamble　led。