第14部分(第2/7 頁)

　upward；　but　rang　in　his　own　skull。

Yet；　though　he　scarcely　saw　their　faces；　he　knew　that　they　were　there。　He　felt　them　move；every　movement　causing　a　trembling；　an　astonishment；　a　horror　in　the　heart　of　darkness　where　he　lay。　He　could　not　know　if　they　wished　him　to　e　to　them　as　passionately　as　he　wished　to　rise。

Perhaps　they　did　not　help　him　because　they　did　not　care—because　they　did　not　love　him。

Then　his　father　returned　to　him；　in　John’s　changed　and　low　condition；　and　John　thought；but　for　a　moment　only；　that　his　father　had　e　to　help　him。　In　the　silence；　then；　that　filled　thevoid；　John　looked　on　his　father。　His　father’s　face　was　black—like　a　sad；　eternal　night；　yet　in　hisfather’s　face　there　burned　a　fire—a　fire　eternal　in　an　eternal　night。　John　trembled　where　he　lay；feeling　no　warmth　from　him　from　this　fire；　tremble；　and　could　not　take　his　eyes　away。　A　wind　blewover　him；　saying：　‘Whosoever　loveth　and　maketh　a　lie。’　Only：　‘Whosoever　loveth　and　maketh　alie。’　And　he　knew　that　he　had　been　thrust　out　of　the　holy；　the　joyful；　the　blood…washed　munity；that　his　father　had　thrust　him　out。　His　father’s　will　was　stronger　than　John’s　own。　His　power　wasgreater　because　he　belonged　to　God。　Now；　John　felt　no　hatred；　nothing；　only　a　bitter；　unbelievingdespair：　all　prophecies　were　true；　salvation　was　finished；　damnation　was　real！

Then　Death　is　real；　John’s　soul　said；　and　Death　will　have　his　moment。

‘Set　thine　house　in　order；’　said　his　father；　‘for　thou　shalt　die　and　not　live。’

And　then　the　ironic　voice　spoke　again；　saying：　‘Get　up；　John。　Get　up；　boy。　Don’t　let　himkeep　you　here。　You　got　everything　your　daddy　got。’

John　tried　to　laugh—John　thought　that　he　was　laughing—but　found；　instead；　that　his　mouthwas　filled　with　salt；　his　ears　were　full