第18部分(第2/7 頁)

　plodding　dull；　who　never　have　imagination　enough　to　quit　the　beaten　track　of　security；　but　bright…witted　and　large…hearted　fellows　who　seem　always　to　be　led　by　mon　sense；　who　go　steadily　from　stage　to　stage　of　life；　doing　the　right；　the　prudent　things；　guilty　of　no　vagaries；　winning　respect　by　natural　progress；　seldom　needing　aid　themselves；　often　helpful　to　others；　and；　through　all；　good…tempered；　deliberate；　happy。　How　I　envy　them！

For　of　myself　it　might　be　said　that　whatever　folly　is　possible　to　a　moneyless　man；　that　folly　I　have　at　one　time　or　another　mitted。　Within　my　nature　there　seemed　to　be　no　faculty　of　rational　self…　guidance。　Boy　and　man；　I　blundered　into　every　ditch　and　bog　which　lay　within　sight　of　my　way。　Never　did　silly　mortal　reap　such　harvest　of　experience；　never　had　any　one　so　many　bruises　to　show　for　it。　Thwack；　thwack！　No　sooner　had　I　recovered　from　one　sound　drubbing　than　I　put　myself　in　the　way　of　another。　〃Unpractical〃　I　was　called　by　those　who　spoke　mildly；　〃idiot〃……I　am　sure……by　many　a　ruder　tongue。　And　idiot　I　see　myself；　whenever　I　glance　back　over　the　long；　devious　road。　Something；　obviously；　I　lacked　from　the　beginning；　some　balancing　principle　granted　to　most　men　in　one　or　another　degree。　I　had　brains；　but　they　were　no　help　to　me　in　the　mon　circumstances　of　life。　But　for　the　good　fortune　which　plucked　me　out　of　my　mazes　and　set　me　in　paradise；　I　should　no　doubt　have　blundered　on　to　the　end。　The　last　thwack　of　experience　would　have　laid　me　low　just　when　I　was　being　really　a　prudent　man。

VII

This　morning's　sunshine　faded　amid　slow…gathering　clouds；　but　something　of　its　light　seems　still　to　linger　in　the　air；　and　to　touch　the　rain　which　is　falling　softly。　I　hear　a　pattering　upon　the　still　leafage　of　the　garden；　it　is　a　so