第54部分(第5/7 頁)

　cracked　doors　and　between　shutter　slats；　and

wondered how fitting my behavior was。 As I cried； I felt purged of doubts

about　whether　my　agony　was　genuine；　of　apprehensions　about　being　accused

of　murder　and　of　the　fear　of　Hasan　and　his　men。

Shekure　was　mine　and　it　was　as　if　I　were　celebrating　with　shouts　and　tears。　I

drew　my　sobbing　wife　close　to　me；　and　without　paying　any　heed　to　the　tearful

children　approaching　us；　I　lovingly　kissed　her　cheek　and　inhaled　the　scent　of

the　almond　trees　of　our　youth。

Together with the children； we walked　back to where the body lay。 I said；

“La　ilahe　illallah；　there　is　no　God　but　Allah”　as　though　addressing　not　a　reeking

two…day…old　corpse　but　a　dying　man　whom　I　wanted　to　reaffirm　the　words　of

witness；　I　wanted　my　Enishte　to　go　to　Heaven　with　these　words　on　his　lips。　We

pretended　that　he’d　repeated　them；　and　smiled　for　a　moment　as　we　gazed　at

his　nearly　destroyed　face　and　battered　head。　I　opened　my　palms　to　Heaven　and

recited from the “Ya Sin” chapter while the others listened quietly。 With a

clean　piece　of　gauze　that　Shekure　brought　into　the　room；　we　carefully　bound

my Enishte’s mouth shut； tenderly closed his ravaged eyes and gently rolled

him over onto his right side； arranging his head so it faced Mecca。 Shekure

spread　a　clean　white　sheet　over　her　father。

I　was　pleased　that　the　children　were　watching　everything　so　intensely　and

by　the　quiet　that　followed　the　wailing。　I　felt　like　somebody　with　a　real　wife　and

children；　with　a　hearth　and　home。

One by one； I collected the pictures into a portfolio； donned my heavy