第54部分(第4/7 頁)

ther　is　crying　so　the　neighbors　will　know

of　your　grandfather’s　death　and　pay　their　respects。”

“What　difference　does　it　make　if　they　e？”　Shevket　asked。

“If　they　e；　they’ll　be　sad　and　mourn　with　us　over　his　death。　That　way

we　can　share　the　burden　of　our　pain。”

“Did　you　kill　my　grandfather？”　shouted　Shevket。

“If you’re going to upset your mother； don’t expect any affection from

me！”　I　shouted　back。

We　didn’t　shout　at　each　other　like　stepfather　and　stepson；　but　like　two　men

talking by the banks of a loud rushing river。 Shekure stepped out into the

hallway　and　was　forcing　the　wooden　slats　of　the　window　trying　to　throw　open

the shutters so her shouts could be better heard throughout the

neighborhood。

I　left　the　room　to　join　her。　We　both　tried　to　force　the　window。　With　a　final

bined　effort；　the　shutters　came　loose　and　fell　into　the　courtyard。　Sunlight

and cold struck our faces and we were stunned momentarily。 Shekure

screamed；　crying　her　heart　out。

Enishte　Effendi’s　death；　once　announced　by　her　cries；　turned　into　a　much

more　tragic　and　agonizing　pain。　Whether　sincere　or　feigned；　my　wife’s　crying

tormented me。 Unexpectedly； I began to weep。 I didn’t even know if I was

crying sincerely out of grief or was merely pretending for fear of being held

responsible　for　my　Enishte’s　death。

242

“He’s　gone；　gone；　gone；　my　dear　father’s　gone！”　cried　Shekure。

My　sobs　and　laments　mimicked　hers；　though　I　didn’t　exactly　know　what　I

was　saying。　I　was　worried　about　how　I　looked　to　the　neighbors　staring　at　us

from　their　houses；　from　behind