第34部分(第3/7 頁)

was　setting　things　up　so　I　wouldn’t　be

able　to　marry　again。　I　was　also　fed　up　with　those　illustrations　he　was　having

the　miniaturists　make　in　imitation　of　the　Frankish　masters；　and　I　was　sick　of

his　recollections　of　Venice。

When I closed my eyes again—Allah； it wasn’t my own desire—in my

thoughts；　Black　had　approached　me　so　sweetly　that　in　the　dark　I　could　feel　him

beside me。 Suddenly； I sensed that he’d e up from behind me； he was

kissing　the　nape　of　my　neck；　the　back　of　my　ears；　and　I　could　feel　how　strong

he　was。　He　was　solid；　large　and　hard；　and　I　could　lean　on　him。　I　felt　secure。　My

nape　tingled；　my　nipples　were　stiffening。　It　seemed　as　if　there　in　the　dark；　with

my　eyes　closed；　I　could　feel　his　enlarged　member　behind　me；　close　to　me。　My

head　spun。　What　was　Black’s　like？　I　wondered。

At　times　in　my　dreams；　my　husband　in　his　agony　shows　his　to　me。　I　e

to the awareness that my husband is struggling to keep his bloody body；

lanced and shot with Persian arrows； walking upright as he approaches。 But

sadly；　there　is　a　river　between　us。　As　he　calls　to　me　from　the　opposite　bank；

covered　in　blood　and　suffering　terribly；　I　notice　that　he　has　bee　erect。　If　it’s

true　what　the　Georgian　bride　said　at　the　public　bath；　and　if　there’s　truth　to

what　the　old　hags　say；　“Yes；　it　grows　that　large；”　then　my　husband’s　wasn’t　so

big。　If　Black’s　is　bigger；　if　that　enormous　thing　I　saw　under　Black’s　belt　when

he　took　up　the　empty　piece　of　paper　I’d　sent　by　Shevket　yesterday；　if　that　was

actually it—and it surely was—I’m afraid I’ll suffer great pain； if it even fits

inside　me　at　all