第63部分(第4/7 頁)

n　she　knew　that　in　the　tiny　brown　buds　of　autumn　were

folded；　minute　and　plete；　the　finished　flowers　of　the　summer

nine　months　hence；　tiny；　folded　up；　and　left　there　waiting；　a

flash　of　triumph　and　love　went　over　her。

〃I　could　never　die　while　there　was　a　tree；〃　she　said

passionately；　sententiously；　standing　before　a　great　ash　in

worship。

It　was　the　people　who；　somehow；　walked　as　an　upright　menace

to　her。　Her　life　at　this　time　was　unformed；　palpitating；

essentially　shrinking　from　all　touch。　She　gave　something　to

other　people；　but　she　was　never　herself；　since　she　had　no　self。

She　was　not　afraid　nor　ashamed　before　trees；　and　birds；　and　the

sky。　But　she　shrank　violently　from　people；　ashamed　she　was　not

as　they　were；　fixed；　emphatic；　but　a　wavering；　undefined

sensibility　only；　without　form　or　being。

Gudrun　was　at　this　time　a　great　fort　and　shield　to　her。

The　younger　girl　was　a　lithe；　farouche　animal；　who

mistrusted　all　approach；　and　would　have　none　of　the　petty

secrecies　and　jealousies　of　schoolgirl　intimacy。　She　would　have

no　truck　with　the　tame　cats；　nice　or　not；　because　she　believed

that　they　were　all　only　untamed　cats　with　a　nasty；　untrustworthy

habit　of　tameness。

This　was　a　great　stand…back　for　Ursula；　who　suffered　agonies

when　she　thought　a　person　disliked　her；　no　matter　how　much　she

despised　that　other　person。　How　could　anyone　dislike　her；　Ursula

Brangwen？　The　question　terrified　her　and　was　unanswerable。　She

sought　refuge　in　Gudrun's　natural；　proud　indifference。

It　had　been　discovered　that　Gudrun　had　a　talent　for　drawing。

This　solved　the　problem　of　the　girl's　indifference　to