第20部分(第1/7 頁)

his　face；　and　closed　his　eyes　for　a　minute。　？I　mean；　what　good　would　it　do　to　tell　Blair　about

Serena　anyway？　She？s　going　to　Yale　tomorrow。　And　maybe　she？ll　go；　and　I？ll　miss　her　so　much

I？ll　be　on　the　Metro…North　every　freaking　Friday。　Or　maybe　me　and　Serena　will　be　together？so

why　decide　now；　right？？　？Nate　。　。　。？　Chips　turned　and　looked　at　Nate　thoughtfully；　one　hand

resting　on　his　stiff　leg。　？Don？t　twist　my　words　to　your　own　convenience。　There？s　a　difference

between　protecting　someone　else　and　protecting　yourself。　And　it　doesn？t　sound　to　me　like　you？ve

done　much　thinking　about　what？s　really　best　for　those　two　girls　you　claim　to　love　so

much。？　？Yeah？？　Nate　stared　glumly　down　at　the　wide…planked　floor。　He　knew　how　hurt　Serena

would　be　if　he　told　her　he　was　going　to　see　Blair　every　weekend　at　Yale。　He　also　knew　that　if　he

told　Blair　what　had　happened　with　Serena；　that　shoe…throwing　scene　would　look　like　a　trip　to　the

circus。

Step　right　up　to　see　the　man…eating　Manolo…thrower！　？But　there？s　this　other　thing；？　Nate　went　on；

struggling　with　his　thoughts。　？Blair　and　Serena　。　。　。　they　both　know　exactly　what　they　want。

They？ve　got　all　theseplans　。　。　。　。　Everyone　else　knows　what　they　want；　but　I　just　。　。　。don？t　。　And

even　if　I　did；　I　feel　like　everything？s　been　decided　for　me。？　The　sparkling　water　seemed　to　laugh

at　him。　Weeks　before；　the　water　had　been　full　of　promise。　Now　he　just　felt　like　he　was　sinking。

？That？s　the　biggest　pile　of　bullshit　I？ve　ever　heard　in　all　my　living　days；？　Chips　growled。　He

leaned　forward　so　that　his　face　was　inches　from　Nate？s。　？Look　at　me？I？m　sixty…five　years　old；

I？ve　got　a　bad　leg；　and　on　Sunday　morning；　I？m　setting　sai