第6部分(第1/6 頁)

nd　carefully。　Think　of　the　future　of　your　children…

…

And　maybe；　we　shall　meet　again　some　time；　brother！　Take　care　of　yourself；　go　on　living；　for　the　love　of　God；　until　we　meet。　Perhaps　some　time　we　shall　embrace　each　other　and　recall　our　youth；　our　golden　time　that　was；　our　youth　and　our　hopes；　which　at　this　very　instant　I　am　tearing　out　from　my　heart　with　my　blood；　to　bury　them。

Can　it　indeed　be　that　I　shall　never　take　a　pen　into　my　hands？　I　think　that　after　the　four　years　there　may　be　a　possibility。　I　shall　send　you　everything　that　I　may　write；　if　I　write　anything；　my　God！　How　many　imaginations；　lived　through　by　me；　created　by　me　anew；　will　perish；　will　be　extinguished　in　my　brain　or　will　be　spilt　as　poison　in　my　blood！　Yes；　if　I　am　not　allowed　to　write；　I　shall　perish。　Better　fifteen　years　of　prison　with　a　pen　in　my　hands！

Write　to　me　more　often；　write　more　details，more；　more　facts。　In　every　letter　write　about　all　kinds　of　family　details；　of　trifles；　don't　forget。　This　will　give　me　hope　and　life。　If　you　knew　how　your　letters　revived　me　here　in　the　fortress！　These　last　two　months　and　a　half；　when　it　was　forbidden　to　write　or　receive　a　letter；　have　been　very　hard　on　me　…

If　anyone　has　bad　memories　of　me；　if　I　have　quarreled　with　anyone；　if　I　have　created　in　anyone　an　unpleasant　impression—　tell　them　they　should　forget　it；　if　you　manage　to　meet　them。　There　is　no　gall　or　spite　in　my　soul；　I　should　dearly　love　to　embrace　any　one　of　my　former　friends　at　this　moment。　It　is　a　fort；　I　experienced　it　today　when　saying　good�by　to　my　dear　ones　before　death　…

…

When　I　look　back　at　the　past　and　think　how　much　time　has　been　wasted　in　vain；　how　much　time　was　lost　in　delusions；　in　errors；　in　idleness；　in　ignorance　of　how　to　live；