第2部分(第4/6 頁)

runk　and　beat　both　you　and　her。”

“These　things　happen。　And　I　was　only　there　for　three　years。　Until　my　aunt　had　her　breakdown　and　I　was　taken　into　care。”

“So　how　did　that　feel？　Ending　up　in　a　home　with　no　one　in　the　world　to　turn　to？”

“By　then　I　was　old　enough　to　manage。 The　brothers　there　were　nice　enough。　Some　of　them；　anyhow。”

I　left　it　at　that；　made　no　mention　of　the　members　of　the　order　who　had　been　sent　to　jail　for　interfering　with　children　in　their　care。　I　accepted　that　I　had　no　right　to　force　the　wall　of　denial　that　only　the　man　himself　could　decide　to　demolish。

“Look　at　this！”　I　overheard　a　mother　admonish　her　young　children。　“This　is　beautiful。”　“Ooh！”　chimed　the　children。　“Isn’t　it　beautiful？”

And　on　numerous　other　occasions：　“Watch　out！　This　is　dangerous。”　“Help！”　wailed　the　children。　“It　is　dangerous；　very　dangerous。”

So　it　went　on；　year　in；　year　out。　“This　is　good；　that　is　bad。　This　is　marvellous；　that　abominable。”　The　children　swallowed　every　word　she　said；　without　ever　stopping　to　chew；　without　even　looking。

She　could　have　pointed　to　the　black　kettle　and　told　them　it　was　white；　and　they　would　have　piped　in　unison：　“Oh　yes！　Very　white　indeed。”　They　were　such　nice；　amenable　children。

Watching　from　a　distance；　I　sometimes　felt　like　crying　out：“For　goodness’　sake；　don’t　believe　everything　you　hear！　That　kettle　isn’t　white　at　all；　it’s　black！　Use　your　eyes　and　see　for　yourselves！　Rely　on　your　own　judgement！”

But　of　course　I　didn’t。　It　wasn’t　my　place。　All　I　could　do　was　hope　to　see　the　day　when　these　children　would　find　the　wherewithal　to　break　the　bonds　of　their　conditioning；establish　a　truth　of　their　own。

They　were　well　into　their　thirties　before　it　finally　happened。

I　heave