第12部分(第3/7 頁)

erena；　as　if　he　wasn’t　sure　if　she　were　real　or　a　figment　of　his　imagination。　“My　dreams　didn’t　lie。　Even　when　I　sleep　next　to　you；　I　dream　about　you。”

Serena　pulled　her　hair　into　a　tight　ponytail　at　the　crown　of　her　head。　It　was　sweet　of　him　to　try　to　help；　but　it　was　useless。　“I　don’t　love　anyone　that　way；”　she　cut　him　off。　In　this　scene；　Holly　was　supposed　to　recognize　that　the　only　person　she　really　loved　was　her　husband。　That；　no　matter　what；　and　no　matter　how　many　stupid　things　he　did；　he　was　the　only　person　who　could　ever　make　her　feel　happy　and　plete。

She　sighed　and　leaned　back　into　the　wingback　chair。　She　wished　she；　and　not　her　alter　ego；　Holly；　was　face…to…face　with　the　man　of　her　dreams。　She　wished　the　wind　was　blowing　through　her　hair　and　that　she　was　holding　a　real　drink　instead　of　a　seltzer　mixed　with　food　coloring。　She　wished　she　was　out　on　a　sailboat；　in　the　middle　of　the　deep　navy　ocean；　under　the　wide　blue　sky；　with　him。

She　wished　she　was　with　Nate。

Serena　felt　a　sob　rise　in　her　throat。

“Don’t　worry　about　the　scene　for　right　now。　Is　everything　okay？”　Thaddeus　asked　in　concern　as　he　perched　on　the　arm　of　her　chair。

“Okay；　princesses；　teatime’s　over。　Let’s　work。　My　sanity’s　at　stake。”　Ken　rolled　his　eyes。

Serena　stood　up；　crossed　toward　the　camera；　and　blinked　at　what　was　supposed　to　be　the　Hudson　River　in　front　of　her。　She　imagined　Nate；　far　away；　on　a　sailboat；　a　tiny　dot　in　the　middle　of　the　ocean。　She　turned　her　head；　her　chin　grazing　her　tanned；　bare　shoulder。　“I　love　you。　I　always　have。”　She　brushed　a　lock　of　hair　out　of　Thaddeus’s　eyes；　the　way　she　used　to　after　she’d　hugged　a　sweaty　and　disheveled　Nate　when　he’d　just　won　a　St。　Jude’s　lacrosse　game。　“I’d　never　leave　you。　Sometimes　I　wake　up　and　I