第46部分(第1/7 頁)

were　chatting　and　clinking　their　silverware。　But　suddenly；　the　noise　was　intolerable。　“I　can’t　do　this；”　she　blurted；　the　words　out　before　she　could　stop　them。　She　glanced　up　at　Chuck。　His　face　was　impossible　to　read。　“I　can’t；”　she　said　more　firmly。　Her　voice　trembled；　but　she　was　more　sure　of　herself　than　she’d　been　in　a　long　time。

Chuck’s　face　fell。　“Do　you　mean　the　apartment？　You　can　redo　it　if　you　want…。”

Blair　shook　her　head。　The　apartment　was　beautiful。　But　it　wasn’t　right。　For　one；　she’d　never　wanted　to　live　in　the　Village。　Ever　since　she　was　little；　whenever　she’d　imagined　her　life　as　an　adult；　she　pictured　an　apartment　off　Fifth　Avenue　within　walking　distance　of　Barneys　and　the　park。　But　it　wasn’t　just　location。　It　was　the　fact　that　deep　down；　she　wasn’t　sure　if　she　wanted　to　be　in　a　relationship。　At　least　not　right　now。　Not　with　someone　who　was　so　ready　to　settle　down。　Weren’t　your　twenties　supposed　to　be　wild　and　crazy　and　full　of　adventures？

Let’s　hope　so。

“Sorry。”　Blair　absentmindedly　pulled　the　ugly　red　carnation　out　of　its　vase　on　the　table　and　began　ripping　it　apart。　The　dark　red　petals　fell　to　the　oak　table　like　little　drops　of　blood。　“I’m　just—I　think　I　need　a　break；”　she　said　just　as　a　black…shirted　waiter　approached　the　table；　order　pad　in　hand。

“I’ll　e　back；”　the　waiter　squeaked　in　a　high　falsetto；　turning　terrifiedly　on　his　newly　shined　heel。

“I　mean；　the　apartment　is　great；　but　what　if　I　get　into　Harvard　Law？　Then　what？　What　if　I　decide　to　take　a　year　off　before　law　school　and　live　in　Paris？”　Blair　said　in　a　rush　of　words；　surprising　herself　as　she　heard　them。

“I　understand；”　Chuck　said　thickly。　His　dark　eyes　clouded　over　and　he　glanced　out　the　steamy　restaurant　window　at　the　pedestrians　passin