第34部分(第6/7 頁)

hing　she　wanted　to　think　about　right　now。

Upstairs；　Blair　took　a　long　hot　shower　by　candlelight；　trying　to　let　the　water　wash　away　her　nagging　frustrations。　Nate　had　looked　so　happy　tonight；　so　different　from　the　tormented　Nate　of　last　winter。　When　she　closed　her　eyes　she　saw　him　laughing；　tugging　a　toboggan　up　a　hill。　She　saw　him　lobbing　snowballs　at　Serena。　Hugging　Jenny。　She　saw　him　smiling；　his　green　eyes　glittering。　She　stepped　out　of　the　shower　and　toweled　off；　pulling　on　a　Cosabella　tank　top　and　shorts　set　before　heading　into　the　bedroom。　Chuck　was　already　asleep；　his　breathing　deep　and　even。

She　climbed　into　bed　and　lay　next　to　Chuck；　turning　over　so　she　was　lying　on　her　side。　She　couldn’t　get　fortable。　Lying　next　to　Chuck　didn’t　feel　right。　Instead；　she　found　herself　thinking　about　a　certain　attic　bedroom。

Maybe　she　and　Nate　needed　to　talk。　Or　kiss。　One　more　time。　One　last　time。　Just　to　say　goodbye；　so　she　could　get　rid　of　all　the　confusing　feelings　swirling　around　her　brain。　So　that　she　could　finally　enter　her　grown…up　life；　without　any　worries　about　her　past　ing　back　to　haunt　her。　She　swung　her　legs　out　of　bed；　grabbed　a　candle　from　the　antique　oak　dresser；　and　headed　for　the　door。

Next　door；　Serena　lay　awake　in　bed。　Dan　was　sleeping　with　his　cell　phone　clutched　to　his　chest　like　a　tiny　electronic　life　preserver。　She　felt　alone　with　her　jumbled　thoughts。

Being　outside　with　Nate　had　been　so　fun；　so　natural。　She　wasn’t　playful　when　she　was　with　Dan。　She　always　hesitated　for　a　half　second　before　she　said　anything；　worried　she’d　disappoint　him　by　not　sounding　smart。　She　hated　worrying。

She　wondered　what　Nate　was　doing　upstairs。　He’d　seemed　disappointed　when　Blair　wanted　to　go　inside；　like　he　wished　he　could　stay　outside　a