第15部分(第2/7 頁)

ooks　Brothers　blazer　was　too　tight　across　his　shoulders；　and　his　sky…blue　Hermès　tie　felt　like　it　was　choking　him。　It　didn’t　feel　right　to　be　dressed　like　this；　it　didn’t　feel　right　to　be　back　in　New　York；　and　it　definitely　didn’t　feel　right　to　be　at　Chips’s　funeral。　He　couldn’t　believe　Chips　was　dead。　He’d　had　cancer　and　hadn’t　even　bothered　to　tell　Nate　he’d　been　sick。　He’d　been　slowly　dying　for　months　now　in　Lenox　Hill　Hospital　and　hadn’t　bothered　to　call；　or　e…mail；　or　even　send　a　letter。

Nate　hadn’t　planned　to　e　back　to　New　York　for　the　holidays。　He’d　been　at　Deep　Springs　College　for　the　past　eight　months；　trying　to　sort　his　mind　out。　He’d　thought　he’d　done　that　with　Chips　on　the　Belinda。　That　he　had　a　handle　on　who　he　was　and　what　he　wanted　from　life。　That　Serena　and　Blair　wouldn’t　confuse　him　as　much　as　they　had　before。

But　nothing　could　have　been　further　than　the　truth。　After　he　saw　them　fighting；　it　was　all　too　apparent　that　he　could　never　be　around　them　anymore。　There　were　too　many　feelings；　too　much　history；　too　many　swirling　emotions。　It　practically　killed　him　that　he　was　the　one　who’d　caused　all　the　problems　in　their　friendship。

He’d　immediately　run　to　his　parents’　vacation　home　on　Mt。　Desert　Island；　Maine；　and　it　was　there；　sitting　on　the　beach　and　watching　the　waves　roll　in；　that　he　thought　of　Chuck　and　his　transformation　from　a　monkey…toting　metrosexual　to　a　decent…seeming　dude。　Immediately；　he’d　called　Deep　Springs　and　interviewed　for　a　spot　for　spring　semester。　Because　all　the　students　of　Deep　Springs　sat　on　the　admissions　mittee；　and　all　had　a　tremendous　amount　of　respect　for　Chuck—and　because　Nate　was　consistently　lucky—he’d　gotten　in。

Since　then；　he’d　done　a　total　one…eighty。　Deep　Springs　was　intense　and　unlike　anything　h