第5部分(第2/6 頁)

e　Alzheimer’s　continued　to　unravel　her　mind　over　the　next　six　years。　。。

愛上陌生人（3）

I　lived　with　my　mother　from　1984　to　1990；　as　the　illness　slowly　took　its　toll。　It　was　appalling　to　watch　her　change　right　in　front　of　me。　She　didn’t　just　forget　things。　She　became　a　different　person—one　whom　I　did　not　recognize。　When　my　boyfriend　would　watch　television；　she’d　walk　in　circles　around　his　chair；　muttering　under　her　breath　and　scowling。　She　kept　a　hammer　hidden　in　her　room　and　wielded　it　at　the　slightest　provocation。　If　she　got　out　of　the　house；　she’d　refuse　to　e　back　in。　Instead；　she　would　run　down　the　street；　calling　for　the　police　to　help　her。　She’d　e　to　believe　that　she　was　a　police　officer—a　conviction　touched　off　by　a　letter　inviting　her　to　take　the　civil　service　test。　Only　another　police　officer　could　convince　her　to　e　into　the　house。

This　is　not　my　mother；　I　would　tell　myself。　My　mother　had　no　interest　in　men；this　person　called　men　over　to　her　window。　My　mother　never　cried；　yet　this　woman　broke　into　tears　at　the　slightest　thing。　My　mother　always　appeared　polite　and　good…natured。　This　woman　was　quick…tempered　and　slightly　paranoid。　She　moved　magazines；　silverware；　dishes；　and　clothing　around　the　house。　When　I　asked　about　the　objects；　she’d　bee　angry　and　yell　at　me　for　thinking　she　had　done　something　wrong。　She　told　me　that　other　people；　not　she；　had　moved　these　things。

“e　here；”　she’d　say　forcefully；　grabbing　my　hand　and　pulling　me　into　her　room。　“Listen。　Do　you　hear　them？　They　took　it。”

To　learn　more　about　the　disease；　my　sister　and　I　attended　groups　for　families　of　Alzheimer’s　patients。　We　learned　not　to　blame　my　mother　for　things　she　said　or　did。　The　Alzheimer’s　was　talking；　not　her。

As　the　disease　progressed；　my　mother　grew　f