第38部分(第1/7 頁)

selfimage；　by　feelings　of　love　and　responsibility。　Every　possible　choice　seemed

to　have　drawbacks；　and　sometimes　he　didn't　understand　why　the　drawbacks　were

drawbacks。　It　was　very　hard。

〃He　thinks　。。。〃　Danny　began　again；　and　then　looked　at　his　mother　quickly。

She　was　watching　the　road；　not　looking　at　him；　and　he　felt　he　could　go　on。

〃He　thinks　maybe　we'll　be　lonely。　And　then　he　thinks　that　he　likes　it　here　and

it's　a　good　place　for　us。　He　loves　us　and　doesn't　want　us　to　be　lonely　。。。　or

sad　。。。　but　he　thinks　even　if　we　are；　it　might　be　okay　in　the　LONGRUN。　Do　you

know　LONGRUN？〃

She　nodded。　〃Yes；　dear。　I　do。〃

〃He's　worried　that　if　we　left　he　couldn't　get　another　job。　That　we'd　have　to

beg；　or　something。〃

〃Is　that　all？〃

〃No；　but　the　rest　is　all　mixed　up。　Because　he's　different　now。〃

〃Yes；〃　she　said；　almost　sighing。　The　grade　eased　a　little　and　she　shifted

cautiously　back　to　third　gear。

〃I'm　not　making　this　up；　Mommy。　Honest　to　God。〃

〃I　know　that；〃　she　said；　and　smiled。　〃Did　Tony　tell　you？〃

〃No；〃　he　said。　〃I　just　know。　That　doctor　didn't　believe　in　Tony；　did　he？〃

〃Never　mind　that　doctor；〃　she　said。　〃I　believe　in　Tony。　I　don't　know　what　he

is　or　who　he　is；　if　he's　a　part　of　you　that's　special　or　if　he　es　from　。。。

somewhere　outside；　but　I　do　believe　in　him；　Danny。　And　if　you　。。。　he　。。。

think　we　should　go；　we　will。　The　two　of　us　will　go　and　be　together　with　Daddy

again　in　the　spring。〃

He　looked　at　her　with　sharp　hope。　〃Where？　A　motel？〃

〃Hon；　we　couldn't　afford　a　motel。　It　would　have　to　be　at　my　mother's。〃

The　hope　in　Danny's　face　died　out。　〃I　know　—　〃　he　said；　and　stopped。

〃What？〃