第7部分(第4/7 頁)

ames　of　places；　people；　and　events　have　been　altered　or　abbreviated　to

protect　the　innocent。　Namely；　me。

hey　people！

The　flavor…of…the…month　club

So　what　ever　became　of　that　fake…breasted　fake　blond　pop　princess　with　the　permanently　bare

midriff　whose　songs　werealways　on　the　radio　when　you　woke　up　in　the　morning　and　stayed　in

your　headall　day　；　driving　youinsane　。　I？ll　call　her　？Sally？　here；　so　as　not　to　offend　any　of　her

adoring　fans；　but　I？m　sure　you　know　who　I？m　talking　about。　I　heard　she　had　a　nervous　breakdown

and　has　been　in　rehab　in　Palm　Springs　ever　since。　She　likes　it　so　much　there　she？s　buying　a　ranch

right　next　door；　redoing　it　in　shades　of　pink；　and　calling　it　Sallyland。　If　we？re　lucky；　she？ll　stay

there　forever；　only　busting　out　in　her　late　sixties　to　do　overproduced　cabaret　shows　on　the　Vegas

Strip　to　prove　that　she　can　still　lip…sync　with　the　best　of　them　despite　her　advanced　age　and

drug…addled　mind。

What　about　our　favorite　twenty…something　actress　who　got　into　that　bit　of　trouble　with　the

law？something　to　do　with　carrying　shopping　bags　full　of　items　that　didn？t　exactly　belong　to　her

out　of　a　well…known　department　store？　She？s　in　rehab；　too；　but　don？t　worry？the　film　industry　will

find　a　way　to　bring　her　back。　In　fact；　that？s　what　distinguishes　the　flavors　of　the　month　from　the

real　stars。　We　kind　ofwant　to　see　her　again。　We　want　to　know　that　there？s　life　after　being　busted。

We　want　to　see　her　rise　to　new　heights；　whereas　we　don？t　much　care　what　happens　to　Sally。　At

nineteen；　she　was　already　tired。

The　ins　and　outs　of　rehab

Rehab　and　college　are　actually　very　similar　as　far　as　status　is　concerned。　There　are　the