第21部分(第4/7 頁)

s　notebook；

pretending　to　listen　to　what　Mr。　Dube　was　saying　about　Vietnam　and　apathy。　School　seemed　so

lame　and　inconsequential　when　a　big…time　agent　like　Rusty　Klein　wanted　to　represent　him；　and　an

obviously　brilliant；　intriguingly　sexy　poet　had　sent　him　those　exquisitely　astute　Valentine？s　Day

gifts。

Then　Dan　remembered　Vanessa　and　his　hands　began　to　tremble。　He　hadn？t　sent　her　anything　for

Valentine？s　Day？　not　that　Vanessa　was　at　all　into　such　a　？mercial　bullshit　holiday；？　as　she

called　it；　but　he　hadn？t　even　called　her。　Actually；　his　biggest　problem　was　。　。　。　he？d　cheated　on　her。

And　not　just　kissing　cheating　either。Cheating　cheating。

Whoops。

It　was　all　Mystery？s　fault。　With　her　see…through　slip　and　crooked　yellow　teeth　she？d　made　him

feel　like　he　was　living　inside　of　one　of　his　poems；　kissing　a　beguilingly　odd　girl　he？d　created　at　a

raucous；　screwball　party　he？d　invented。　He　hadn？t　been　able　to　help　but　let　his　imagination　run

amok；　sending　him　stumbling　across　the　snowy　landscape　to　her　ramshackle　Chinatown　studio

apartment　and　making　love　to　her　in　all　sorts　of　odd　yogalike　positions　on　her　unfortable　futon

bed　as　the　sun　was　rising　over　the　bleak；　snow…covered　city。　It　was　almost　as　if　none　of　it　had

actuallyhappened　。　It　wasfiction　。

Except　it　wasn？t　fiction。　He？d　cheated。

Dan　had　been　dreadfully　hungover　for　the　remainder　of　the　weekend　and　too　deeply　mired　in

existential　guilt　and　self…loathing　to　answer　Vanessa？s　countless　messages　on　his　cell　phone。

He　flipped　to　the　back　of　his　history　notebook。　What　if　he　wrote　Vanessa　a　poem　and　e…mailed　it

to　her　during　lunch　next　period？　That　would　be　more　meaningful　than　f