第32部分(第3/7 頁)

〃I　can't　tell

you；〃　he　finally　said。

My　jaw　tightened；　and　I　spoke　through　my　teeth。　〃I　thought　we　were　friends。〃

〃We　were。〃　There　was　a　slight　emphasis　on　the　past　tense。

〃But　you　don't　need　friends　anymore；〃　I　said　sourly。　〃You　have　Sam。　Isn't　that

nice—you've　always

looked　up　to　him　so　much。〃

〃I　didn't　understand　him　before。〃

〃And　now　you've　seen　the　light。　Hallelujah。〃

〃It　wasn't　like　I　thought　it　was。　This　isn't　Sam's　fault。　He's　helping　me　as

much　as　he　can。〃　His　voice

turned　brittle　and　he　looked　over　my　head；　past　me；　rage　burning　out　from　his

eyes。

〃He's　helping　you；〃　I　repeated　dubiously。　〃Naturally。〃

But　Jacob　didn't　seem　to　be　listening。　He　was　taking　deep；　deliberate　breaths；

trying　to　calm　himself。　He

was　so　mad　that　his　hands　were　shaking。

〃Jacob；　please；〃　I　whispered　〃Won't　you　tell　me　what　happened？　Maybe　I　can

help。〃

〃No　one　can　help　me　now。〃　The　words　were　a　low　moan；　his　voice　broke。

〃What　did　he　do　to　you？〃　I　demanded；　tears　collecting　in　my　eyes。　I　reached

out　to　him；　as　I　had　once

before；　stepping　forward　with　my　arms　wide。

This　time　he　cringed　away；　holding　his　hands　up　defensively。　〃Don't　touch　me；〃

he　whispered。

〃Is　Sam　catching？〃　I　mumbled。　The　stupid　tears　had　escaped　the　corners　of　my

eyes。　I　wiped　them　away

with　the　back　of　my　hand；　and　folded　my　arms　across　my　chest。

〃Stop　blaming　Sam。〃　The　words　came　out　fast；　like　a　reflex。　His　hands　reached

up　to　twist　around　the

hair　that　was　no　longer　there；　and　then　fell　limply　at　his　sides。

〃Then　who　should　I　blame？〃　I　retorted。

He　halfway　smiled；　it　was　a　bleak；　twisted　thing。