第45部分(第1/7 頁)

up　my　hallucinations　and　try

to　be　a　grown…up。　But　maybe　I　should　do　it。　And　maybe　I　could。　If　I　had　Jacob。

I　couldn't　make　that　decision　right　now。　It　hurt　too　much。　I'd　think　about

something　else。

Images　from　my　ill…considered　afternoon　stunt　rolled　through　my　head　while　I

tried　to　e　up　with

something　pleasant　to　think　about　the　feel　of　the　air　as　I　fell；　the

blackness　of　the　water；　the　thrashing　of

the　current　Edward's　face　I　lingered　there　for　a　long　time。　Jacob's　warm

hands；　trying　to　beat　life

back　into　me　the　stinging　rain　flung　down　by　the　purple　clouds　the　strange

fire　on　the　waves

There　was　something　familiar　about　that　flash　of　color　on　top　of　the　water。　Of

course　it　couldn't　really　be

fire—

My　thoughts　were　interrupted　by　the　sound　of　a　car　squelching　through　the　mud

on　the　road　outside。　I

heard　it　stop　in　front　of　the　house；　and　doors　started　opening　and　closing。　I

thought　about　sitting　up；　and

then　decided　against　that　idea。

Billy's　voice　was　easily　identifiable；　but　he　kept　it　uncharacteristically

low；　so　that　it　was　only　a　gravelly

grumble。

The　door　opened；　and　the　light　flicked　on。　I　blinked；　momentarily　blind。　Jake

startled　awake；　gasping　and

jumping　to　his　feet。

〃Sorry；〃　Billy　grunted。　〃Did　we　wake　you？〃

My　eyes　slowly　focused　on　his　face；　and　then；　as　I　could　read　his　expression；

they　filled　with　tears。

〃Oh；　no；　Billy！〃　I　moaned。

He　nodded　slowly；　his　expression　hard　with　grief。　Jake　hurried　to　his　father

and　took　one　of　his　hands。

The　pain　made　his　face　suddenly　childlike—it　looked　odd　on　top　of　the　man's

body。