第41部分(第5/7 頁)

t　Quil's　grandfather　says　the　kid　could　fry　an　egg　on

his　forehead。〃　Jacob's　face

turned　hopeless。　〃It　won't　be　long　now。　There's　no　exact　age　it　just　builds

and　builds　and　then

suddenly—〃　He　broke　off；　and　it　was　a　moment　before　he　could　speak　again。

〃Sometimes；　if　you　get

really　upset　or　something；　that　can　trigger　it　early。　But　I　wasn't　upset　about

anything—I　was　happy。〃　He

laughed　bitterly。　〃Because　of　you；　mostly。　That's　why　it　didn't　happen　to　me

sooner。　Instead　it　just　kept

on　building　up　inside　me—I　was　like　a　time　bomb。　You　know　what　set　me　off？　I

got　back　from　that

movie　and　Billy　said　I　looked　weird。　That　was　all；　but　I　just　snapped。　And

then　I—I　exploded。　I　almost

ripped　his　face　off—my　own　father！〃　He　shuddered；　and　his　face　paled。

〃Is　it　really　bad；　Jake？〃　I　asked　anxiously；　wishing　I　had　some　way　to　help

him。　〃Are　you　miserable？〃

〃No；　I'm　not　miserable；〃　he　told　me。　〃Not　anymore。　Not　now　that　you　know。　That

was　hard；　before。〃　He

leaned　over　so　that　his　cheek　was　resting　on　top　of　my　head。

He　was　quiet　for　a　moment；　and　I　wondered　what　he　was　thinking　about。　Maybe　I

didn't　want　to　know。

〃What's　the　hardest　part？〃　I　whispered；　still　wishing　I　could　help。

〃The　hardest　part　is　feeling　out　of　control；〃　he　said　slowly。　〃Feeling　like

I　can't　be　sure　of　myself—like

maybe　you　shouldn't　be　around　me；　like　maybe　nobody　should。　Like　I'm　a　monster

who　might　hurt

somebody。　You've　seen　Emily。　Sam　lost　control　of　his　temper　for　just　one

second　and　she　was

standing　too　close。　And　now　there's　nothing　he　can　ever　do　to　put　it　right

again。　I　hear　his　thoughts—I