第49部分(第3/7 頁)

any　perfect　course　of　action。

〃Bella　？〃　Jacob　asked　in　a　troubled　voice。

I　pulled　my　face　out　of　my　hands　to　see　Jacob　hesitating　in　the　kitchen

doorway；　he　hadn't　left　when　I'd

thought。　It　was　only　when　I　saw　the　clear　drops　sparkling　in　my　hands　that　I

realized　I　was　crying。

Jacob's　calm　expression　was　gone；　his　face　was　anxious　and　unsure。　He　walked

quickly　back　to　stand　in

front　of　me；　ducking　his　head　so　that　his　eyes　were　closer　to　being　on　the

same　level　with　mine。

〃Did　it　again；　didn't　I？〃

〃Did　what？〃　I　asked；　my　voice　cracking。

〃Broke　my　promise。　Sorry。〃

〃'S'okay；〃　I　mumbled。　〃I　started　it　this　time。〃

His　face　twisted。　〃I　knew　how　you　felt　about　them。　It　shouldn't　have　taken　me

by　surprise　like　that。〃

I　could　see　the　revulsion　in　his　eyes。　I　wanted　to　explain　to　him　what　Alice

was　really　like；　to　defend　her

against　the　judgments　he'd　made；　but　something　warned　me　that　now　was　not　the

time。

So　I　just　said；　〃Sorry；〃　again。

〃Let's　not　worry　about　it；　okay？　She's　just　visiting；　right？　She'll　leave；　and

things　will　go　back　to　normal。〃

〃Can't　I　be　friends　with　you　both　at　the　same　time？〃　I　asked；　my　voice　not

hiding　an　ounce　of　the　hurt　I

felt。

He　shook　his　head　slowly。　〃No；　I　don't　think　you　can。〃

I　sniffed　and　stared　at　his　big　feet。　〃But　you'll　wait；　right？　You'll　still　be

my　friend；　even　though　I　love

Alice；　too？〃

I　didn't　look　up；　afraid　to　see　what　he'd　think　of　that　last　part。　It　took　him

a　minute　to　answer；　so　I　was

probably　right　not　to　look。

〃Yeah；　I'll　always　be　your　friend；〃　he　said　gruffly。　〃No　matter　what　you

love。〃