第9部分(第2/7 頁)

of　us　was　painful。　He　looked　like　a　god。　I　looked

very　average；　even　for　a

human；　almost　shamefully　plain。　I　flipped　the　picture　over　with　a　feeling　of

disgust。

Instead　of　doing　my　homework；　I　stayed　up　to　put　my　pictures　into　the　album。

With　a　ballpoint　pen　I

scrawled　captions　under　all　the　pictures；　the　names　and　the　dates。　I　got　to

the　picture　of　Edward　and　me；

and；　without　looking　at　it　too　long；　I　folded　it　in　half　and　stuck　it　under

the　metal　tab；　Edward…side　up。

When　I　was　done；　I　stuffed　the　second　set　of　prints　in　a　fresh　envelope　and

penned　a　long　thank…you

letter　to　Renee。

Edward　still　hadn't　e　over。　I　didn't　want　to　admit　that　he　was　the　reason

I'd　stayed　up　so　late；　but　of

course　he　was。　I　tried　to　remember　the　last　time　he'd　stayed　away　like　this；

without　an　excuse；　a　phone

call　He　never　had。

Again；　I　didn't　sleep　well。

School　followed　the　silent；　frustrating；　terrifying　pattern　of　the　last　two

days。　I　felt　relief　when　I　saw

Edward　waiting　for　me　in　the　parking　lot；　but　it　faded　quickly。　He　was　no

different；　unless　maybe　more

remote。

It　was　hard　to　even　remember　the　reason　for　all　this　mess。　My　birthday　already

felt　like　the　distant　past。　If

only　Alice　would　e　back。　Soon。　Before　this　got　any　more　out　of　hand。

But　I　couldn't　count　on　that。　I　decided　that；　if　I　couldn't　talk　to　him　today；

really　talk；　then　I　was　going　to

see　Carlisle　tomorrow。　I　had　to　do　something。

After　school；　Edward　and　I　were　going　to　talk　it　out；　I　promised　myself。　I

wasn't　accepting　any　excuses。

He　walked　me　to　my　truck；　and　I　steeled　myself　to　make　my　demands。