第61部分(第6/7 頁)

e—that

you　would　be　so　sure　of　the　truth　that　I　would　have　to　lie　through　my　teeth

for　hours　to　even　plant　the

seed　of　doubt　in　your　head。　I　lied；　and　I'm　so　sorry—sorry　because　I　hurt

you；　sorry　because　it　was　a

worthless　effort。　Sorry　that　I　couldn't　protect　you　from　what　I　an。　I　lied　to

save　you；　and　it　didn't　work。

I'm　sorry。

〃But　how　could　you　believe　me？　After　all　the　thousand　times　I've　told　you　I

love　you；　how　could　you　let

one　word　break　your　faith　in　me？〃

I　didn't　answer。　I　was　too　shocked　to　form　a　rational　response。

〃I　could　see　it　in　your　eyes；　that　you　honestly　believed　that　I　didn't　want

you　anymore。　The　most　absurd；

ridiculous　concept—as　if　there　were　anu　way　that　I　could　exist　without

needing　you！〃

I　was　still　frozen。　His　words　were　inprehensible；　because　they　were

impossible。

He　shook　my　shoulder　again；　not　hard；　but　enough　that　my　teeth　rattled　a

little。

〃Bella；〃　he　sighed。　〃Really；　what　were　you　thinking！〃

And　so　I　started　to　cry。　The　tears　welled　up　and　then　gushed　miserably　down　my

cheeks。

〃I　knew　it；〃　I　sobbed。　〃I　knew　I　was　dreaming。〃

〃You're　impossible；〃　he　said；　and　he　laughed　once—a　hard　laugh；　frustrated。

〃How　can　I　put　this　so　that

you'll　believe　me？　You're　not　asleep；　and　you're　not　dead。　I'm　here；　and　I

love　you。　I　have　always　loved

you；　and　I　will　always　love　you。　I　was　thinking　of　you；　seeing　your　face　in　my

mind；　every　second　that　I

was　away。　When　I　told　you　that　I　didn't　want　you；　it　was　the　very　blackest

kind　of　blasphemy。〃

I　shook　my　head　while　the　tears　continued　to　ooze　from　the　corners　of　my　eyes。

〃You　d