第36部分(第1/7 頁)

view　of　him；　they　spontaneously　arrived；　green　and　strong！　He　made　me　love　him　without　looking　at　me。

I　pared　him　with　his　guests。　What　was　the　gallant　grace　of　the　Lynns；　the　languid　elegance　of　Lord　Ingram；—even　the　military　distinction　of　Colonel　Dent；　contrasted　with　his　look　of　native　pith　and　genuine　power？　I　had　no　sympathy　in　their　appearance；　their　expression：　yet　I　could　imagine　that　most　observers　would　call　them　attractive；　handsome；　imposing；　while　they　would　pronounce　Mr。　Rochester　at　once　harsh…featured　and　melancholy…looking。　I　saw　them　smile；　laugh—it　was　nothing；　the　light　of　the　candles　had　as　much　soul　in　it　as　their　smile；　the　tinkle　of　the　bell　as　much　significance　as　their　laugh。　I　saw　Mr。　Rochester　smile：…　his　stern　features　softened；　his　eye　grew　both　brilliant　and　gentle；　its　ray　both　searching　and　sweet。　He　was　talking；　at　the　moment；　to　Louisa　and　Amy　Eshton。　I　wondered　to　see　them　receive　with　calm　that　look　which　seemed　to　me　so　perating：　I　expected　their　eyes　to　fall；　their　colour　to　rise　under　it；　yet　I　was　glad　when　I　found　they　were　in　no　sense　moved。　“He　is　not　to　them　what　he　is　to　me；”　I　thought：　“he　is　not　of　their　kind。　I　believe　he　is　of　mine；—I　am　sure　he　is—I　feel　akin　to　him—I　understand　the　language　of　his　countenance　and　movements：　though　rank　and　wealth　sever　us　widely；　I　have　something　in　my　brain　and　heart；　in　my　blood　and　nerves；　that　assimilates　me　mentally　to　him。　Did　I　say；　a　few　days　since；　that　I　had　nothing　to　do　with　him　but　to　receive　my　salary　at　his　hands？　Did　I　forbid　myself　to　think　of　him　in　any　other　light　than　as　a　paymaster？　Blasphemy　against　nature！　Every　good；　true；　vigorous　feeling　I　have　gathers　impulsively　round　him。　I　know　I　must　conceal　my　sentiments：　I　must　smother　hope；　I　must　remember