第20部分(第3/7 頁)

atitude　swelled　my　heart；　and　I　knelt　down　at　the　bedside；　and　offered　up　thanks　where　thanks　were　due；　not　forgetting；　ere　I　rose；　to　implore　aid　on　my　further　path；　and　the　power　of　meriting　the　kindness　which　seemed　so　frankly　offered　me　before　it　was　earned。　My　couch　had　no　thorns　in　it　that　night；　my　solitary　room　no　fears。　At　once　weary　and　content；　I　slept　soon　and　soundly：　when　I　awoke　it　was　broad　day。

The　chamber　looked　such　a　bright　little　place　to　me　as　the　sun　shone　in　between　the　gay　blue　chintz　window　curtains；　showing　papered　walls　and　a　carpeted　floor；　so　unlike　the　bare　planks　and　stained　plaster　of　Lowood；　that　my　spirits　rose　at　the　view。　Externals　have　a　great　effect　on　the　young：　I　thought　that　a　fairer　era　of　life　was　beginning　for　me；　one　that　was　to　have　its　flowers　and　pleasures；　as　well　as　its　thorns　and　toils。　My　faculties；　roused　by　the　change　of　scene；　the　new　field　offered　to　hope；　seemed　all　astir。　I　cannot　precisely　define　what　they　expected；　but　it　was　something　pleasant：　not　perhaps　that　day　or　that　month；　but　at　an　indefinite　future　period。

I　rose；　I　dressed　myself　with　care：　obliged　to　be　plain—for　I　had　no　article　of　attire　that　was　not　made　with　extreme　simplicity—I　was　still　by　nature　solicitous　to　be　neat。　It　was　not　my　habit　to　be　disregardful　of　appearance　or　careless　of　the　impression　I　made：　on　the　contrary；　I　ever　wished　to　look　as　well　as　I　could；　and　to　please　as　much　as　my　want　of　beauty　would　permit。　I　sometimes　regretted　that　I　was　not　handsomer；　I　sometimes　wished　to　have　rosy　cheeks；　a　straight　nose；　and　small　cherry　mouth；　I　desired　to　be　tall；　stately；　and　finely　developed　in　figure；　I　felt　it　a　misfortune　that　I　was　so　little；　so　pale；　and　had　features　so　irregular　and　so　marked。　And　why　had　I　these　a