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natural impetus。 I had a mind which caused me to feel anger;
satisfaction; desire。 These two facts led those about me to suppose
that I willed and thought。 I can remember all this; not because I knew
that it was so; but because I have tactual memory。 It enables me to
remember that I never contracted my forehead in the act of thinking。 I
never viewed anything beforehand or chose it。 I also recall tactually
the fact that never in a start of the body or a heart…beat did I feel
that I loved or cared for anything。 My inner life; then; was a blank
without past; present; or future; without hope or anticipation; without
wonder or joy or faith。
It was not night……it was not day。
。 。 。 。 。
But vacancy absorbing space;
And fixedness; without a place;
There were no stars……no earth……no time……
No check……no change……no good……no crime。
My dormant being had no idea of God or immortality; no fear of death。
I remember; also through touch; that I had a power of association。 I
felt tactual jars like the stamp of a foot; the opening of a window or
its closing; the slam of a door。 After repeatedly smelling rain and
feeling the disfort of wetness; I acted like those about me: I ran to
shut the window。 But that was not thought in any sense。 It was the same
kind of associa
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