第28部分(第3/7 頁)

　store　my　memory　with　useless　knowledge　of　the　past？

e；　once　more　before　I　die　I　will　read　Don　Quixote。

XVIII

Somebody　has　been　making　a　speech；　reported　at　a　couple　of　columns'　length　in　the　paper。　As　I　glance　down　the　waste　of　print；　one　word　catches　my　eye　again　and　again。　It's　all　about　〃science〃……and　therefore　doesn't　concern　me。

I　wonder　whether　there　are　many　men　who　have　the　same　feeling　with　regard　to　〃science〃　as　I　have？　It　is　something　more　than　a　prejudice；　often　it　takes　the　form　of　a　dread；　almost　a　terror。　Even　those　branches　of　science　which　are　concerned　with　things　that　interest　me……which　deal　with　plants　and　animals　and　the　heaven　of　stars……even　these　I　cannot　contemplate　without　uneasiness；　a　spiritual　disaffection；　new　discoveries；　new　theories；　however　they　engage　my　intelligence；　soon　weary　me；　and　in　some　way　depress。　When　it　es　to　other　kinds　of　science……the　sciences　blatant　and　ubiquitous……the　science　by　which　men　bee　millionaires……I　am　possessed　with　an　angry　hostility；　a　resentful　apprehension。　This　was　born　in　me；　no　doubt；　I　cannot　trace　it　to　circumstances　of　my　life；　or　to　any　particular　moment　of　my　mental　growth。　My　boyish　delight　in　Carlyle　doubtless　nourished　the　temper；　but　did　not　Carlyle　so　delight　me　because　of　what　was　already　in　my　mind？　I　remember；　as　a　lad；　looking　at　plicated　machinery　with　a　shrinking　uneasiness　which；　of　course；　I　did　not　understand；　I　remember　the　sort　of　disturbed　contemptuousness　with　which；　in　my　time　of　〃examinations；〃　I　dismissed　〃science　papers。〃　It　is　intelligible　enough　to　me；　now；　that　unformed　fear：　the　ground　of　my　antipathy　has　grown　clear　enough。　I　hate　and　fear　〃science〃　because　of　my　conviction　that；　for　long　to　e　if　not　for　ever；　it　will　be　the　remorseless　enemy