第6部分(第6/7 頁)

　I；　has　taken　to　heart　that　sentence　of　the　Imitatio……〃In　omnibus　requiem　quaesivi；　et　nusquam　inveni　nisi　in　angulo　cum　libro〃？

I　had　in　me　the　making　of　a　scholar。　ind；　I　should　have　amassed　learning。　Within　the　walls　of　a　college；　I　should　have　lived　so　happily；　so　harmlessly；　my　imagination　ever　busy　with　the　old　world。　In　the　introduction　to　his　History　of　France；　Michelet　says：　〃J'ai　passe　e　cote　du　monde；　et　j'ai　pris　l'histoire　pour　la　vie。〃　That；　as　I　can　see　now；　was　my　true　ideal；　through　all　my　battlings　and　miseries　I　have　always　lived　more　in　the　past　than　in　the　present。　At　the　time　when　I　was　literally　starving　in　London；　when　it　seemed　impossible　that　I　should　ever　gain　a　living　by　my　pen；　how　many　days　have　I　spent　at　the　British　Museum；　reading　as　disinterestedly　as　if　I　had　been　without　a　care！　It　astounds　me　to　remember　that；　having　breakfasted　on　dry　bread；　and　carrying　in　my　pocket　another　piece　of　bread　to　serve　for　dinner；　I　settled　myself　at　a　desk　in　the　great　Reading…　Room　with　books　before　me　which　by　no　possibility　could　be　a　source　of　immediate　profit。　At　such　a　time；　I　worked　through　German　tomes　on　Ancient　Philosophy。　At　such　a　time；　I　read　Appuleius　and　Lucian；　Petronius　and　the　Greek　Anthology；　Diogenes　Laertius　and……heaven　knows　what！　My　hunger　was　forgotten；　the　garret　to　which　I　must　return　to　pass　the　night　never　perturbed　my　thoughts。　On　the　whole；　it　seems　to　me　something　to　be　rather　proud　of；　I　smile　approvingly　at　that　thin；　white…faced　youth。　Me？　My　very　self？　No；　no！　He　has　been　dead　these　thirty　years。

Scholarship　in　the　high　sense　was　denied　me；　and　now　it　is　too　late。　Yet　here　am　I　gloating　over　Pausanias；　and　promising　myself　to　read　every　word　of　him。　Who　that　has　any　tincture　of　old　letters　would　not　like