第7部分(第3/7 頁)

　universal　soldiering！　I　like　to　think　that　they　will　guard　the　liberty　of　their　manhood　even　beyond　the　point　of　prudence。

A　lettered　German；　speaking　to　me　once　of　his　year　of　military　service；　told　me　that；　had　it　lasted　but　a　month　or　two　longer；　he　must　have　sought　release　in　suicide。　I　know　very　well　that　my　own　courage　would　not　have　borne　me　to　the　end　of　the　twelvemonth；　humiliation；　resentment；　loathing；　would　have　goaded　me　to　madness。　At　school　we　used　to　be　〃drilled〃　in　the　playground　once　a　week；　I　have　but　to　think　of　it；　even　after　forty　years；　and　there　es　back　upon　me　that　tremor　of　passionate　misery　which；　at　the　time；　often　made　me　ill。　The　senseless　routine　of　mechanic　exercise　was　in　itself　all　but　unendurable　to　me；　I　hated　the　standing　in　line；　the　thrusting…out　of　arms　and　legs　at　a　signal；　the　thud　of　feet　stamping　in　constrained　unison。　The　loss　of　individuality　seemed　to　me　sheer　disgrace。　And　when；　as　often　happened；　the　drill…sergeant　rebuked　me　for　some　inefficiency　as　I　stood　in　line；　when　he　addressed　me　as　〃Number　Seven！〃　I　burned　with　shame　and　rage。　I　was　no　longer　a　human　being；　I　had　bee　part　of　a　machine；　and　my　name　was　〃Number　Seven。〃　It　used　to　astonish　me　when　I　had　a　neighbour　who　went　through　the　drill　with　amusement；　with　zealous　energy；　I　would　gaze　at　the　boy；　and　ask　myself　how　it　was　possible　that　he　and　I　should　feel　so　differently。　To　be　sure；　nearly　all　my　schoolfellows　either　enjoyed　the　thing；　or　at　all　events　went　through　it　with　indifference；　they　made　friends　with　the　sergeant；　and　some　were　proud　of　walking　with　him　〃out　of　bounds。〃　Left；　right！　Left；　right！　For　my　own　part；　I　think　I　have　never　hated　man　as　I　hated　that　broad…shouldered；　hard…visaged；　brassy…voiced　fellow。　Every　word　he　spoke　to　me；　I　fe