第16部分(第1/7 頁)

d　not　exult；　I　did　not　lose　control　of　myself　in　any　way。　But　I　remember　drawing　one　or　two　deep　sighs；　as　if　all　at　once　relieved　of　some　distressing　burden　or　constraint。　Only　some　hours　after　did　I　begin　to　feel　any　kind　of　agitation。　That　night　I　did　not　close　my　eyes；　the　night　after　I　slept　longer　and　more　soundly　than　I　remember　to　have　done　for　a　score　of　years。　Once　or　twice　in　the　first　week　I　had　a　hysterical　feeling；　I　scarce　kept　myself　from　shedding　tears。　And　the　strange　thing　is　that　it　seems　to　have　happened　so　long　ago；　I　seem　to　have　been　a　free　man　for　many　a　twelvemonth；　instead　of　only　for　two。　Indeed；　that　is　what　I　have　often　thought　about　forms　of　true　happiness；　the　brief　are　quite　as　satisfying　as　those　that　last　long。　I　wanted；　before　my　death；　to　enjoy　liberty　from　care；　and　repose　in　a　place　I　love。　That　was　granted　me；　and；　had　I　known　it　only　for　one　whole　year；　the　sum　of　my　enjoyment　would　have　been　no　whit　less　than　if　I　live　to　savour　it　for　a　decade。

XXIV

The　honest　fellow　who　es　to　dig　in　my　garden　is　puzzled　to　account　for　my　peculiarities；　I　often　catch　a　look　of　wondering　speculation　in　his　eye　when　it　turns　upon　me。　It　is　all　because　I　will　not　let　him　lay　out　flower…beds　in　the　usual　way；　and　make　the　bit　of　ground　in　front　of　the　house　really　neat　and　ornamental。　At　first　he　put　it　down　to　meanness；　but　he　knows　by　now　that　that　cannot　be　the　explanation。　That　I　really　prefer　a　garden　so　poor　and　plain　that　every　cottager　would　be　ashamed　of　it；　he　cannot　bring　himself　to　believe；　and　of　course　I　have　long　since　given　up　trying　to　explain　myself。　The　good　man　probably　concludes　that　too　many　books　and　the　habit　of　solitude　have　somewhat　affected　what　he　would　call　my　〃reasons。〃

The　only　garden　flowers