第9部分(第2/7 頁)

an　in　every　fifty　thousand？　Consider　what　extraordinary　kindness　of　fate　must　tend　upon　one；　that　not　a　care；　not　a　preoccupation；　should　interfere　with　his　contemplative　thought　for　five　or　six　days　successively！　So　rooted　in　the　human　mind　（and　so　reasonably　rooted）　is　the　belief　in　an　Envious　Power；　that　I　ask　myself　whether　I　shall　not　have　to　pay；　by　some　disaster；　for　this　period　of　sacred　calm。　For　a　week　or　so　I　have　been　one　of　a　small　number；　chosen　out　of　the　whole　human　race　by　fate's　supreme　benediction。　It　may　be　that　this　es　to　every　one　in　turn；　to　most；　it　can　only　be　once　in　a　lifetime；　and　so　briefly。　That　my　own　lot　seems　so　much　better　than　that　of　ordinary　men；　sometimes　makes　me　fearful。

XXV

Walking　in　a　favourite　lane　to…day；　I　found　it　covered　with　shed　blossoms　of　the　hawthorn。　Creamy　white；　fragrant　even　in　ruin；　lay　scattered　the　glory　of　the　May。　It　told　me　that　spring　is　over。

Have　I　enjoyed　it　as　I　should？　Since　the　day　that　brought　me　freedom；　four　times　have　I　seen　the　year's　new　birth；　and　always；　as　the　violet　yielded　to　the　rose；　I　have　known　a　fear　that　I　had　not　sufficiently　prized　this　boon　of　heaven　whilst　it　was　with　me。　Many　hours　I　have　spent　shut　up　among　my　books；　when　I　might　have　been　in　the　meadows。　Was　the　gain　equivalent？　Doubtfully；　diffidently；　I　hearken　what　the　mind　can　plead。

I　recall　my　moments　of　delight；　the　recognition　of　each　flower　that　unfolded；　the　surprise　of　budding　branches　clothed　in　a　night　with　green。　The　first　snowy　gleam　upon　the　blackthorn　did　not　escape　me。　By　its　familiar　bank；　I　watched　for　the　earliest　primrose；　and　in　its　copse　I　found　the　anemone。　Meadows　shining　with　buttercups；　hollows　sunned　with　the　marsh　marigold　held　me　long　at　gaze。　I　saw　the　sallow　glistenin