第4部分(第5/7 頁)

hloe　was　stunned。　She　stood　up　and　cried；　〃It　was　all　a　charade；　then？

The　clothes；　the　beard；　even　the　Peace　Corps？〃　She　turned　away；

disillusioned　and　heartsick。　Head　bowed；　she　grappled　with　the　idea　of

an　attraction　based　on　a　lie。

Ross　materialized　before　her。　〃Did　it　matter　so　much？〃　he　asked　softly。

When　she　neither　answered　nor　looked　up；　he　put　a　finger　under　her　chin

and　forced　it　up。　Her　eyes　were　dry；　but　she　knew　they　held　pain。　She

couldn't　hide　that；　couldn't　even　try。

〃Did　it？〃　he　asked。

Chloe　felt　a　well　of　emotion；　emotion　that　had　lain　dormant　for　years。

Ross　was　so　close　that　the　warmth　of　his　body　was　an　intoxicant。　She

used　the　power　of　that　to　speak。　〃Yes。　It　mattered　more　than　you　can

imagine。〃

〃But　why？　The　physical　attraction　between　us　had　nothing　to　do　with

outer　trappings。　As　I　recall；　we　shed　our　clothes　pretty　fast。〃　Chloe

tried　to　pull　away；　he　held　her　chin。　〃Don't　run　from　it。　There　was

something　between　us　that　you　can't　deny。　Are　you　telling　me　you　made

love　to　an　image？〃　His　tone　was　suddenly　cooler。　〃Was　it　an　experiment

for　you？　Was　I　a　tool　in　your　rebellion？〃　His　fingers　tightened　on　her

jaw。　Reflexively；　she　held　his　wrist。

〃No。　That　wasn't　it　at　all。〃　She　was　hurt　that　he　would　suggest　it。　〃All

you　seem　to　think　about　is　the　physical　act。　Yes；　there　was　a　physical

attraction。　With　and　without　clothes。　But　for　me；　at　least；　there　was

more　involved。　There　had　to　be。〃　Her　voice　rose。　〃I　was　a　virgin；　for

God's　sake。〃

Ross　must　have　felt　her　hurt；　because　he　relaxed　his　grip。　He　moved　his

fingers　back　to　her　ear；　pushing　them　through　the　long　strands　of