第42部分(第2/5 頁)

htmare　you　had？　Mine　was　no　dream。

I　was　able　to　pull　Bey　out　of　the　car；　only　to　watch　her　die　in　my　arms。

There　was　nothing　I　could　do。　A　battered　arm　was　the　least　of　my

punishment。　The　plane　crash　seemed　an　extension　of　it。　Then〃…he　pressed

his　lips　together　and　nodded…〃then　I　found　you。〃

Anne　swallowed　hard。　He　wandered　across　the　room；　seeming　aimless；　as

though　it　didn't　matter　where　he　went。　She　had　never　seen　him　like　this；

had　never　heard　his　voice　so　bleak　or　so　sad。

〃I　had　fallen　in　love　with　you　long　before　I　made　the　connection　between

Jeff's　death　and　my　airline。　In　an　odd　way；　I　felt　you　were　my　only

chance　at　happiness；　at　building　a　new　life。　I　was　terrified　of　losing

you。　I　didn't　know　what　would　happen　when　I　told　you　what　I　knew。　I

wanted　to　think　you'd　understand；　but　the　stakes　were　so　high。〃

He　turned　to　face　her；　earnest　now。　〃I　never　lied　to　you　about　the

crash；　Anne。　I　just　didn't　tell　you　the　whole　truth。　It's　tormented　me

for　months。　But　the　longer　the　deception　went　on；　the　worse　my　sin　and

the　greater　the　risk　of　ing　clean。　I　was　afraid　that　once　you　knew；

you'd　despise　me。〃　For　a　long　and　heartrending　moment；　he　stared　at　her。

Then　he　cursed　softly。　〃What's；　what's　the　use。　It's　happened；　and　I

deserve　it。　I　was　too　blinded　by　my　own　need　to　see　to　yours。〃　He　took　a

ragged　breath。　〃I　just　wonder　when　the　punishment　will　end。〃　Turning　on

his　heel；　he　stalked　out　of　the　room；　leaving　Anne　alone　and　in　shock。

The　slam　of　the　back　door　jolted　her；　but　even　then　it　was　a　minute

before　she　could　move。　Bolting　up；　she　ran　after　him　out　of　the　house；

stumbling　on　the　steps；　catchin