第59部分(第2/7 頁)

d　swaying　back　and　forth；　now

crying in a pletely different frame of mind； I was deeply touched by my

own　woes　and　pitiful　life。　If　I　could　cry　like　this　just　once　a　week；　I　thought；　I

might forget how I had to roam the streets all day just to make ends meet；

forget　being　mocked　for　my　weight　and　my　Jewishness　and　be　reborn　an　even

more　chattermouth　Esther。

I　like　social　gatherings　because　I　can　eat　to　my　heart’s　content；　and；　at　the

same time； forget that I’m the black sheep of the crowd。 I love the baklava；

mint　candy；　marzipan　bread　and　fruit　leather　of　holidays；　the　pilaf　with　meat

and the tea…cup pastries of circumcision ceremonies； drinking sour…cherry

sherbet at celebrations held by the Sultan in the Hippodrome； eating

everything at weddings； and tossing down the sesame； honey or variously

flavored　condolence　halvas　sent　by　the　neighbors　at　wakes。

I quietly slipped into the hallway； put on my shoes and went downstairs。

Before I turned into the kitchen； I grew curious about an odd noise ing

through　the　half…open　door　of　the　room　next　to　the　stable。　I　took　a　few　steps

in　that　direction　and　glanced　inside　to　discover　that　Shevket　and　Orhan　had

tied up the son of one of the women mourners and were in the midst of

painting　his　face　with　their　late　grandfather’s　paints　and　brushes。　“If　you　try

to　escape；　we’ll　hit　you　like　this；”　Shevket　said　and　slapped　the　boy。

“My　dear　child；　play　nice　and　gentle　now；　don’t　hurt　each　other；　all　right？”

I　said　in　a　voice　as　velvety　as　I　could　muster。

“Mind　your　own　affairs！”