my name is red-我的名字叫紅
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第87部分(第3/7 頁)

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nurse everybody

and cook for the whole world。 After I understood to some extent what it was

like to have breasts; I stuffed my chest with whatever I could find—socks and

washcloths—so I might understand what really made me curious: how it felt

to be a large…breasted woman。 When I saw these huge protrusions; yes; I admit

it; I was as proud as Satan。 I understood at once that men; merely catching

sight of the shadow of my overabundant breasts; would chase after them and

strive to take them into their mouths; I felt quite powerful; but is that what I

wanted? I was befuddled: I wanted both to be powerful and to be the object of

pity; I wanted a rich; powerful and intelligent man; whom I didn’t know from

Adam; to fall madly in love with me; yet I also feared such a man。 Sliding on

the bracelets made of twisted gold that my mother hid at the bottom of her

trousseau chest next to the sheets embroidered with leafy designs; in lavender…

scented wool socks; applying the rouge with which she brightened her cheeks

on the way back from the public baths; donning my aunt’s evergreen cloak

and putting on the thin veil of the same color after gathering up my hair; I

stared at myself in the mirror with the mother…of…pearl frame; and shuddered。

Although I hadn’t touched them; my eyes and eyelashes had bee those of

a woman。 Only my eyes and cheeks were exposed; but I was an extraordinarily

382

attractive woman and this made me very happy。 My manliness; which took

note of this fact before even I had; was erect。 Naturally; this upset me。

In the hand mirror I held; I watched a teardrop s

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