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you believe； of the life

you’re　living；　and　of　Islam；　have　destroyed　me。　Learn　why　one　day　they　might

do　the　same　to　you。　One　by　one；　everything　predicted　by　the　great　preacher

Nusret　Hoja　of　Erzurum；　to　whom　I’ve　tearfully　listened；　is　ing　to　pass。　Let

me　say　also　that　if　the　situation　into　which　we’ve　fallen　were　described　in　a

book；　even　the　most　expert　of　miniaturists　could　never　hope　to　illustrate　it。　As

with the Koran—God forbid I’m misunderstood—the staggering power of

such　a　book　arises　from　the　impossibility　of　its　being　depicted。　I　doubt　you’ve

fully　prehended　this　fact。

Listen to me。 When I was an apprentice； I too feared and thus ignored

underlying truths and voices from beyond。 I’d joke about such matters。 But

6

I’ve　ended　up　in　the　depths　of　this　deplorable　well！　It　could　happen　to　you；　be

wary。　Now；　I’ve　nothing　left　to　do　but　hope　for　my　thorough　decay；　so　they

can　find　me　by　tracing　my　stench。　I’ve　nothing　to　do　but　hope—and　imagine

the　torture　that　some　benevolent　man　will　inflict　upon　that　beastly　murderer

once　he’s　been　caught。

7

I　AM　CALLED　BLACK

After an absence of twelve years I entered Istanbul like a sleepwalker。 “The

earth　called　to　him；”　they　say　of　men　who　are　about　to　die；　and　in　my　case；　it

was death that drew me back to the city where I’d been born and raised。

When I first returned； I thought there was only death； later； I would also

encounter love。 Love； however； was a distant and forgotten thing； like my

memories　of　having　lived　in　the　city。　It　was　in　Istanbul；　twelve　years　ago；　that　I