第58部分(第1/7 頁)

ward　nothing　but　its　own　glassy　self。　In　that　one　way；　at　least；　radio　was　better。

Janice　came　in；　knelt　beside　the　arm　of　my　chair；　and　took　my　hand。　For　a　little　while　neither　of　us　said　anything；　just　stayed　that　way；　listening　to　Kay　Kyser's　Kollege　of　Musical　Knowledge　and　watching　the　stars　e　out。　It　was　all　right　with　me。

〃I'm　so　sorry　I　called　you　a　coward〃；　she　said。　〃I　feel　worse　about　that　than　anything　I've　ever　said　to　you　in　our　whole　marriage。〃

〃Even　the　time　when　we　went　camping　and　you　called　me　Old　Stinky　Sam？〃　I　asked；　and　then　we　laughed　and　had　a　kiss　or　two　and　it　was　better　again　between　us。　She　was　so　beautiful；　my　Janice；　and　I　still　dream　of　her。　Old　and　tired　of　living　as　I　am；　I'll　dream　that　she　walks　into　my　room　in　this　lonely；　forgotten　place　where　the　hallways　all　smell　of　piss　and　old　boiled　cabbage；　I　dream　she's　young　and　beautiful　with　her　blue　eyes　and　her　fine　high　breasts　that　I　couldn't　hardly　keep　my　hands　off　of；　and　she'll　say；　Why；　honey；　I　wasn't　in　that　bus　crash。　You　made　a　mistake；　that's　all。　Even　now　I　dream　that；　and　sometimes　when　I　wake　up　and　know　it　was　a　dream；　I　cry。　I；　who　hardly　ever　cried　at　all　when　I　was　young。

〃Does　Hal　know？〃　she　asked　at　last。

〃That　John　's　innocent？　I　don't　see　how　he　can。〃

〃Can　he　help？　Does　he　have　any　influence　with　Cribus？〃

〃Not　a　bit；　honey

She　nodded；　as　if　she　had　expected　this。　〃Then　don't　tell　him。　If　he　can't　help；　for　God's　sake　don't　tell　him。〃

〃No。〃

She　looked　up　at　me　with　steady　eyes。　〃And　you　won't　call　in　sick　that　night。　None　of　you　will。　You　can't。〃

〃No；　we　can't。　If　we're　there；　we　can　at　least　make　it　quick　for　him。　We　can　do　that　much。　It　won't　be　like　Delacroix。〃　For　a　moment；　merciful