第19部分(第4/7 頁)

l　up　in　New　England。　It's　the　size　of　a　lemon；　they　said；　and　way　down　deep　inside；　where　they　can't　operate。　They　say　she'll　be　dead　by　Christmas。　I　haven't　told　her。　I　can't　think　how。　I　can't　think　how　for　the　life　of　me。〃

Then　he　began　to　cry；　big；　gasping　sobs　that　filled　me　with　both　pity　and　a　kind　of　terror　…　when　a　man　who　keeps　himself　as　tightly　guarded　as　Hal　Moores　finally　does　lose　control；　it's　frightening　to　watch。　I　stood　there　for　a　moment；　then　went　to　him　and　put　my　arm　around　his　shoulders。　He　groped　out　for　me　with　both　of　his　own　arms；　like　a　drowning　man；　and　began　to　sob　against　my　stomach；　all　restraint　washed　away。　Later；　after　he　got　himself　under　control；　he　apologized。　He　did　it　y　eyes；　as　a　man　does　when　he　feels　he　has　embarrassed　himself　dreadfully；　maybe　so　deeply　that　he　can　never　quite　live　it　down。　A　man　can　end　up　hating　the　fellow　who　has　seen　him　in　such　a　state。　I　thought　Warden　Moores　was　better　than　that；　but　it　never　crossed　my　mind　to　do　the　business　I　had　originally　e　for；　and　when　I　left　Moores's　office；　I　walked　over　to　E　Block　instead　of　back　to　my　car。　The　aspirin　was　working　by　then；　and　the　pain　in　my　midsection　was　down　to　a　low　throb。　I　would　get　through　the　day　somehow；　I　reckoned；　get　Wharton　settled　in；　check　back　with　Hal　Moores　that　afternoon；　and　get　my　sick…leave　for　tomorrow。　The　worst　was　pretty　much　over；　I　thought；　with　no　slightest　idea　that　the　worst　of　that　day's　mischief　hadn't　even　begun。

11。

〃We　thought　he　was　still　doped　from　the　tests；〃　Dean　said　late　that　afternoon。　His　voice　was　low；　rasping；　almost　a　bark；　and　there　were　blackish…purple　bruises　rising　on　his　neck。　I　could　see　it　was　hurting　him　to　talk　and　thought　of　telling　him　to　let　it　go；　but　sometimes　it　hurts　more　to　b